But something more attainable, and certainly a step up from body hatred, is a neutral attitude towards our bodies. For me, I feel best when I’m neutral. Why? Because when I’m neutral I’m not passing judgement either way. It just is.
I would rather just be comfortable in my skin than basking in my body’s awesomeness (which basking is not a likely scenario for me). I’ve just come back from two weeks of wearing a bikini every day. And I have to admit, I don’t find that the easiest thing to do.
But I resisted the temptation to go for the tankini instead. I didn’t spend a lot of time obsessing about how I looked, but random thoughts of ‘too old’ and ‘too fat’ did pass through my mind. I didn’t let them stick around.
My husband has a saying that I really like. Instead if “have a nice day” he says “have a day.” Good, bad, indifferent — a day is a day is a day. Why pressure people to have a nice day. Maybe that’s not a reasonable expectation all the time.
So “have a day” takes that pressure and expectation off. That’s neutrality. We can be the same with bodies. I read a lot that tells us “love your body!” But maybe like every day can’t be a nice day, we can’t all be expected to love our bodies.
But maybe, just maybe, we can stop lashing out at them with hateful thoughts of self-loathing. Just live in them neutrally, neither loving nor hating.
By the end of my time on the boat I was kind of there. I threw a bikini on in the morning and went about my vacation. Easy, comfortable, neutral in my skin.
If body-love comes easily to you, bravo! But if it doesn’t, if you feel the pull of negative judgments in that area, neutrality might be a more attainable goal.
Have a day. 😐