I’m not actually a plus size woman these days but I am big. I do like that there’s a bit more variety around these days in terms of bodies represented as sexy. Recent efforts mostly focus on including larger women, but I still hate all the comparing.
What kind of comparing?
But you can celebrate diverse beauty without invoking comparisons. You do you.
I do like this!
9 thoughts on “You Do You”
I’m trying to work on not comparing myself to others. I also get frustrated by memes that denigrate thinner or less muscular women because I don’t think it’s progressive either to instead shame thin women.
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I appreciate the movement toward body loving rather than body shaming. It’s still problematic when clothes made for big women are, basically, wider small women clothes. When I go into a clothing store, I am explicit with the employees: I have far more fat rolls than the women in the catalogue, so please help me find clothes that take my fat into consideration. Well, pants are typically okay, but most of the shirts are meant for big breasts and small waists. Even bras are uncomfortable because they are the same design just made bigger. So I get the feeling that big women still cannot be ‘normal’ or ‘accepted by society’ if they do not look like a bigger thin woman like the the model above. She has the ‘acceptable’ shape–the stereotypical shape. All of the big models have that shape. Yes, things are changing, but there are still implicit exclusionary tactics used to shun or shame others that do not fit the new ‘normal’. I love my body with all of the injuries, inherited health issues, and fat. I do not compare myself to anyone else; I am the way I am because of genetics, injuries, and crippling social anxiety when I was younger. Not that I have to justify the state of my body to anyone, but, if I don’t, I typically get the “Why did you let yourself go” sort of assumptions. The problem is that I am forced to compare myself with more ‘normal’ women when I shop for clothes. If I do not fit the ‘acceptable’ shape, or the shape clothing designers want the women wearing their clothes to be, I am left out in the cold topless and braless (at least it’s legal in Ontario haha). The explicit body shaming is definitely changing; the implicit body shaming is still invisible, ignored, or something else that I can’t think of.
Genetics play a huge part, particularly in the size of one’s arse. I’d love mine to be bigger but unless I opt for surgery, that’s not going to happen any time soon. I am the size that I am and I love the size that I am. Everything is in the right place and works for me in the way that I want it to work. My bestie has an hour glass figure, with amazing breasts and curvy hips. I’ll never look like because I’m made up of different bits and bobs. I don’t like that society feels it is right to think that I starve myself. I don’t like that buying clothes is a nightmare. Wearing kids clothes is not fun, especially if you spot a 10 year old in the same skirt. Having ‘boy hips’ makes wearing trousers, nigh on impossible. Braces are great with my chainsaw trousers but heh, it stops there. I’ve no wish to live in dungarees and so the quest continues, to find clothes for a 47 year old with the hips of a pre-pubescent boy, who doesn’t want to look like a 10 year old child. Great post though.
I love the simplicity of this post. Sometimes you don’t need to write a novel to get a point across, and I think it’s brilliant. Keep doing you!
sometimes we do need to write a novella hhahaa
For me it’s been much more difficult for me to appreciate— or even accept—my shape than my size. Just as Pat commented above, finding clothing that actually fits my body comfortably is a nightmare. In the mainstream, where the comparasions you dicuss are most common, body acceptance and positivity often equate to only celebrating Marilyn Monroe curvy. And while it’s awesome that we’re moving toward having more sizes represented and accepted in mainstream culture, I’d like to see our society do the same for different body shapes.
Most people would not call me big. It is amazing how many fat thoughts I have in a day. They never seem to stop. I exercise most days until I am in pain. I wish I wasn’t bothered about putting on a few kilos or pounds but then I would need a new wardrobe. I’m not the best shopper- I can be so indecisive. I have been rather skinny most of my life. Now I am kind of curvy and athletic. I’m trying to adapt to this new body of mine. I wish we could flip the bird at societies obsession with female bodies. Let men take on the burden for a few centuries. Us ladies need a bit of TLC time
Comparison is the thief of happiness.
It is very good that we are learning to stop comparing each other. We need to accept each other and ourselves for who we are.
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