I’ve seriously debated writing this post, I’m torn really, but in the spirit of open and honest discussions about fitness and feminism I can’t ignore my changing body and writing about it. I’ve shared with readers and friends about my journey from last April’s high blood pressure diagnosis to therapy around overeating and even hitting a tertiary benchmark, losing 20 lbs.
This post though feels, vain, yes, definitely feels like a vanity to share I’m wearing smaller pants. I’ve changed a lot of things in my life that have impacted my weight but my primary goal has been to get my blood pressure down without medication. I’m currently on medications that are keeping my blood pressure in a healthy zone, YAY!
The downside is, as a result of the medication, I now have Raynaud’s Syndrome that restricts circulation to my hands and feet in the cold, making running below 0C very painful no matter how many layers I wear. I asked my doctor in January at what point my declining weight would impact my blood pressure and he said “You have to lose a lot.” Well crap! This was especially annoying because my pulse at the doctor’s office (post coffee, ya ya but honestly I also have a goal of being a non-violent person and coffee assists me with this) being under 60 bpm was pretty awesome considering it was 73 bpm in July and 80 bpm before that in May. My cardiovascular health is definitely improving, which was my secondary goal to support lowering my blood pressure.
My weight has dropped by what I thought was “a lot”. Honestly I didn’t think I could loose 40 lbs without starving myself, measuring food and obsessively counting calories. I do none of these things. I use Canada’s Food Guide and cook from scratch. I eat bread and cheese and on Valentines Day had wine with dinner and chocolate for breakfast.
Therapy around overeating was crucial for me to change my relationship to food, to see it both as nourishment AND joy without it being a way to numb my feelings.
So, while 4 months ago I was freaking out about turning 40, today I’m feeling fantastic and wearing a smaller dress than I have in a long time. So 40 can be a number I’m happy about for a bunch of reasons. I share with you not a before picture, not an after picture, but my picture of feeling great for my date with my life partner. (That’s what all this is about anyway, being around a long time and extracting a lot of joy, right?)
I have no idea where my weight will settle out, it seems to keep going down, so that is cool but I don’t know if I’ll get to the point where I can go off blood pressure medication. I think I just need to be ok with whatever comes next. That feels like a good plan.
Great post, and congratulations on the lowered blood pressure and better cardio health. Sorry to hear about the Raynaud’s– my partner and a good friend have this, and it’s painful, annoying and gets in the way of winter activity. Also, thanks for sharing your process of getting healthier, which has involved (but not been directed towards) weight loss. I also see a therapist about eating issues– it’s dealing with the emotional/environmental triggers that I want to get better at, and that’s an involved process.
My code for my changing relationship to food is “an emotionally rich context for growth” wich loosely translates to “this is way hard and exhausting but worth it”
Love it.
Way to go! Love your posts. And that rad dress
And this is the greatest – “That’s what all this is about anyway, being around a long time and extracting a lot of joy…”
I have to remind myself of this sometimes…the point of it all is LIFE
Definitely not a vanity post… Sounds like a victory post about making progress 🙂 Congrats and keep up the momentum! I’m working towards a healthier me, too, and momentum is our friend 🙂
Oh I like that, momentum is my friend!
What a fabulous post. I love your shift. I hope you continue to embrace life and food in such a positive way.
Great post, thank you for your honesty. The selection of a ‘joy’ picture is on fleek. Thank you.
I thought your post was very brave and non-judgemental. You are sharing your story and there is nothing wrong with that. It is inspiring, not because of the weight loss, but because you own your health now and that is something to aspire to.
awe, thank you!
There is nothing vain about an amazing success story! Great job! 🙂
It’s great that you lost weight and so nice to hear about a person losing without starving oneself for food they like. I’ll just try to eat less.
Great post and a really honest account of the challenges of remaining healthy. Congratulations.
I love this post so much. Congrats on the lowered blood pressure. Yay you! I’m sure there is weeping and such at times, but from where I’m sitting you mostly look like you’re having the time of your life.
The frustrations pass pretty quickly these days and the good moments seem to go on for a long time 🙂
You are definetly on the right path and things will only get better.Just keep doing what you are doing and have a blast while at it
Good post as someone of 46 and feeling oldish I can sympathise with you , I have just started a 30 day yoga challenge at home, as a busy working mum it’s hard to get time to do what I need to do and exercise. tyou can read about it here oldfogiyogi .wordpress
Ok! I followed your blog and look forward to reading about your journey 🙂