Describe a decision you made in the past that helped you learn or grow.

Cate

In 2008, I decided on an impulse to go to Uganda for the first time to connect more closely with a grassroots project I’d been peripherally supporting for a couple of years.  The 52 kids in the project became so real to me in that one week visit that I ended up becoming the project director and running it since then. I had no idea how to create and run a non-profit, raise funds, mobilize a volunteer community, co-create long-term learning and development, build deep reflexivity about being a white person in an African context, understand cross-cultural dynamics, adapt and respond to an endless array of complicated needs, and experience myself as capable of a whole new kind of unconditional love.  That decision reshaped me as adventurous, persistent, curious and committed to equity and social justice in whole new ways.  I would not be who I am today in any way — work, life, values, understanding of the world — if I hadn’t made that choice 17 years ago.

Diane

When I turned 40, I bought a comfortable dress in a fabric covered with pink flowers. I decided I was done with trying to fit in in order to succeed in a patriarchal and stuffy workplace: no more boxy navy suits! I would still do my best and try to be successful, but I would do it on my own terms. That included being a role model and mentor to younger female colleagues, and having a little fun. I didn’t make it as high up the corporate ladder as I might have liked, but I received numerous departmental and one government-wide award for my management skills, especially in a crisis.

Elan

The decision I made was *about* decision-making: namely accepting that I can’t have everything in this life (at least not at the same time). I can’t both have kids and not have kids. I can either build a life at home or really dig into travelling abroad. I can choose to get really good at one thing, or spend my time trying lots of different things. Giving up the expectation that I could always “have my cake and eat it too” allowed me to manage my anxiety about making tough choices and regretting paths not chosen. For me, this TED talk is a great watch for support of this thinking:

Sam

The biggest life changing decision I’ve made is a decision I made together with Jeff, to invite my parents to move to London so my mother could take care of the kids while we worked. That was 27 years ago. I still think all the time that this was one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life.  My mother and I have been sharing a house ever since. I think having an expanded sense of family has been good for us. Now the youngest has one foot out the door , the middle child is back home for college, and my mother is still helping and we’re helping her too. The initial decision was a bit of a leap but extended,  multigenerational family living was the right choice for us. 

Nicole

When I had been at a law firm I was working at for 15 years, where I was making really good money, doing the same job I had been doing for a long time, but growing stagnant, I left without knowing what I would do next. I have learned so much over the years, even though I took a huge step backwards, in salary, but, I have grown so much from that decision. It hasn’t always been easy or a linear path and I would probably be making a lot more even now (almost 15 years later) but it definitely helped me learn the value of pivoting/taking risks/not accepting growing stagnant.

Tracy

My 2018 decision to get a divorce gave me breathing room to reflect on what really matters to me, regroup, and step into a life that feels truer to who I am. Not to say that I was completely inauthentic in my first marriage, but I made some compromises I wouldn’t make today. It is a definite sign of growth and clarity that (1) I wouldn’t make them today and (2) my current relationship doesn’t require, for its survival, that I make concessions of that kind.

How about you? Any of you made a decision you that’s helped you learn or grow? Answer in the comments below.

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

Diane

Where I am now? At that point I’ll be 74. Holding steady seems like a good goal.

Tracy

Travelling, writing, doing more photography, and hosting regular Sunday teas at our Toronto condo!

Martha

At my sewing machine making quilts, in the gym lifting heavy things, enjoying my books in my comfy home, eating all the yummy things with my family and friends.

Cate

On a floating city we’ve built to escape the ant people (quote from tv show Friends)

Sam

Retired! Or at least not working full time.  We’ll see.  I still love my job and I’m looking forward to the end of my Dean term when I get to teach more again. And I’m looking forward to more time to write.  And ride my bike,  of course. Maybe owning a campervan to travel with bikes and visit friends.

Catherine

I see myself as more creative and arty– hopefully drawing and making and writing, taking what the world presents and turning it into something interesting or funny or meaningful, and maybe occasionally lovely.

Catherine

I learned that philosophy was a thing, and a thing I liked tremendously. I also learned that being part of group activities was big fun. This translated into joy through high school and college marching band. I still love me a good parade.

Natalie

In Grade 11? I learned to speak up when something is wrong. So much so in an assembly, where our principal was giving us a dress down,the 1,200 students were yelling in response. He asked if anyone was willing to come to the microphone. He was counting on us to be cowed. I stood up, made my way to the stage. I was so nervous but I knew what I had to say was important. Our principal was an institution who had been in place 40+ years and was a survivor of the WWII London bombings. Everyone ALWAYS deferred to him. I learned that day I’m not everyone, I’m someone who has a voice. And I haven’t shut up since. Hahahaha

Nicole

I learned I didn’t like feeling drunk and never got drunk again after the first  time. I learned I enjoyed history and political science. I didn’t learn a lot of other useful things. Maybe that I had a good work ethic (part-time jobs) and that would serve me well.

Cate

I learned that doc martens make any skirt look better.

Tracy

In high school I learned that I wanted to be a writer more than I wanted to be an editor. And it remains true to this day.

Diane

I learned a few things. It’s okay to be unashamedly excited about not cool things (in my case, it was Jane Austen and Chaucer, thanks to great teachers). And maintaining friendships with everyone makes it easier to be that happy geek (being in a school too small for cliques helped a lot).

Martha

I learned I liked writing more than I liked science. I ditched my then life long dream of medicine for journalism. I hedged my bets though in the first two years of university taking half arts and half science courses and then settled into English lit, history and French for my degree. Essentially I learned to keep my options open snd always have a back up plan!

Sam

For me, it was a time of learning practical things. I learned to drive, and later I learned to drive a standard. I learned to work and to balance work with school. I learned to write essays quickly, the night before they were due. I learned to read quickly too. That’s not always good because when I started philosophy I had to learn to slow down.

Martha

My morning coffee, spending time with excellent friends, watching English village mysteries with my honey, finding solutions to my client’s problems, and planning weekly suppers.

Cate

Playing with the cats, coffee, working on my novel, riding my spin bike, a good bath

Diane

Experimenting in the kitchen, cuddling with the cats, practicing pirouettes (I try to do 10 a day), chatting with my parents and my kids, naps.

Catherine

1) Eating clementines or similar citrus (the ones easier to peel). 2) Reading a book I’m 50-100 pages into that I find myself loving, and I know there’s lots more enjoyment to be had still. 3) seeing flowers– pretty much any kind will do. Am particularly grooving on the daffodils right now. 4) Walking and swimming, at a pace that suits me that day. 5) Meeting with a friend!

Sarah

Dogs, coffee, loved ones,  bikes, naps.

Elan

My cat Theo, dancing with friends, doing something kind for someone that helps them or brightens their day, receiving well-earned praise, my cat Theo.

Sam

Dog walks, bike rides, cookies, coffee, and sunshine

Hmm. I’ve made lots of positive changes in my life. I quit smoking when I got married at 24. That was a biggie.

Also, in that period of my life, I decided that if I was going to be big, I was also going to be strong and fit. I started weight training and riding a bike.

Those are the changes that led me here to this blog and to the book I co-wrote with Tracy, Fit at Midlife: A Feminist Fitness Journey. You can buy it here from the publisher.

I still like this cover better! The publisher recommended against it though because supposedly my tattoos would scare off UK readers.

So yes, overall, I’d say the biggest change is the swap in my thinking of fitness as something you do to look a certain way, namely thin, and instead think of fitness as being about strength and health.

What are your morning rituals? What does the first hour of your day look like?

Confession: Morning rituals are aspirational for me. In the first hour of the day, I listen to the CBC news and weather, often in bed. I drink coffee and eat breakfast. I peek at my email to make sure nothing has exploded. Then, I shower and get dressed. That’s pretty much an hour.

It’s true that some mornings I ride my bike on the trainer. One morning a week at least, we’re at the gym bright and early. These activities squish the activities in the first paragraph into under an hour and maybe the shower comes after. But there’s no routine or ritual about it, more of a mad rush.

What I’d like to add: A morning mobility and stretching routine and a quick walk with Cheddar. May 5th is my first Monday back in the Dean’s office. That’s my start date. Wish me luck!

My son and I were just chatting about fitness influencer Ashton Hall’s wild morning routine. Have you seen it?

Want to read about it? Here’s this from the Toronto Star: Push-ups at 4 a.m., banana peel face-rubs and ice-water dunks — I’m exhausted just thinking about Ashton Hall’s bizarre morning routine.

How about you? Do you have a morning ritual or routine?

Here’s puppy Cheddar in the morning.