Tag: comfort zone

challenge · fitness

Seeking Comfort

amysmithphd1 Comment

This Girl Can recently asked what exercises have taken you out of your comfort zone and made you feel empowered. Sam posted some of the FIFI group responses in a recent post.

Screenshot of social media post from This Girl Can that reads: It can be easy to feel comfortable with an exercise or activity we know, but sometimes taking it one step further or trying something you never thought you could do can make you feel like a badass! What activities have taken them out of your comfort zone and loved them?

When I saw the question pop up from This Girl Can I immediately started thinking about comfort zones and what they mean. For me, a comfort zone is a place where I feel safe and cared for, either by myself or by others. Many factors go in to creating that zone of comfort, including comfort clothing (no more hard pants!), comfort foods, and even comfort weather – I’m a big fan of peak fall weather when it is chilly enough for sweaters but not coats, socks but not boots, and colorful leafy views.

When I think about fitness through this lens I realize that what feels empowering to me is to stay IN my comfort zone. We tend to think of comfort as something that is easy or unchallenging, but when I dive deeper I realize that if I don’t feel safe or if I don’t feel like I am caring for myself in a smart way I do not feel empowered.

I’ve taken up a lot of different fitness activities. I was not raised to enjoy or do physical movement – instead it was something to dread, and to feel shame about how my body looked attempting such feats. I started to encounter minor mobility issues in my late 30s, a twinge here, a pain there. Various treatment pathways, traditional and holistic, brought me to walking. Just simple walking. I felt safe in my neighborhood. I felt cared for, by myself and by my health practitioners. I felt empowered. I started adding short jogs into my walks – the the next telephone pole, to the yellow house, to the street corner. I was testing my limits, but I was still protecting my body and my soul, making sure it felt safe.

I do not respond well to being pushed or pushing myself beyond “limits.” Sometimes those limits are arbitrary, and sometimes they shift with the given moment. Some days are “beast mode” and some days aren’t. I’ve taken all sorts of clinics, workshops, and classes for things like yoga, swimming, cycling, running, TRX, zumba, water aerobics, pilates, and strength training. Some felt empowering while others felt defeating. Coaches who pushed often found that I was slower, more uncoordinated, and crankier when they insisted I do something a particular way or aim for a goal that felt unattainable. Coaches who asked “can you add/do more/focus on…” and allowed me the time to think about the answer got more favorable results. I was able to ask myself “does adding/doing/focusing feel safe, does it feel right for my body?” Folks who ignored me when I said “no, that doesn’t feel safe” quickly became untrustworthy and people whom I distanced myself from going forward.

Here’s the rub with that plan though – I have to really listen to myself. To give myself space to say “no, that doesn’t feel safe.” To ask myself, and listen to the answer all the time, not just sometimes. I love to try new things and can get easily excited about a new activity, hobby, or project. I do feel empowered when I try something new, but I need to stay in my “comfort zone” more often than not to feel good about something.

Amy ziplining.
Amy’s first ziplining experience

Maybe others view their comfort zones differently and are able to leave them more freely, to take bigger risks, or at least to engage in things that feel riskier for themselves. I’m okay with that! My comfort zone lets me try all sorts of new activities in ways that work for my heart, my head, and my body.

See you on our next adventure!

Amy Smith is a professor of Media & Communication and a communication consultant who lives north of Boston. Her research interests include gender communication and community building. Amy spends her movement time riding the basement bicycle to nowhere, walking her two dogs, and waiting for it to get warm enough for outdoor swimming in New England.

Getting out of our comfort zones
fitness

Getting out of our comfort zones

Sam B1 Comment

This Girl Can asked, I shared their question on our Facebook page, and you answered.

“It can be easy to feel comfortable with an exercise or activity we know, but sometimes taking it one step further or trying something you never thought you could do can make you feel like a badass!

What activities have taken you out of your comfort zone and loved them?”

There were such great replies on our Facebook page I asked readers for permission to share their stories here. Here’s some plus some replies from the blog team.

Hiking

Renee is a professional engineer and a recreational acrobat. Cardio is definitely not her strong suit.

Pole

Pole dancing is a demanding sport that requires you to place a lot of faith in your body. You trust your hands and the 6 square inches of skin you have on the pole as you extend your body as far away as you can. Spinning gives me moments of zero G that do something good for my brain. (Marilyn)

Marilyn

Weightlifting

Weights! Both machines and free weights. During my last PT for ankle damage, I did leg strengthening work and got interested in lifting. It made me feel powerful, strong, solid and stable. After a few coaching sessions, I didn’t connect with a gym. Remembering this feeling, maybe it’s time to find a lifting class. (Catherine)

Snowshoeing

Started during the pandemic, going out for an hour or two with friends to public golf courses and provincial parks. You can walk ON the snow in them! I don’t like being cold, but after I invested in these funky green foam ones I actually look forward to bundling up and getting outside in them each winter. (Elan)

Elan and her funky green snowshoes

Triathlon

I started triathlon kind of reluctantly after experiencing a slew of running injuries. I fell in love. I made the most amazing friends and realized I’m stronger than I ever thought- I also reached running PRs in every distance since starting training like a triathlete! As someone who has recovered from an eating disorder, I’m passionate about fighting the negative aspects of sport and have founded Athletes Against Diet Culture, a community that believes athletes come in all shapes and sizes and emphasizes sport for enjoyment not changing your body. (Kate Mroz-Weinstein)

Running and tubing

This question makes me want to write “an ode to my comfort zone” because most things I do, I choose because they work for me and I think that is a good thing. Running, in the first place, was out of my comfort zone, 20 years ago, as the kid who avoided gym class and could barely run across the street. But it’s become very much in my comfort zone.


Parts of all sports I do are not in my comfort zone (anything involving coordination, for example) but I try little things all the time just because I am regularly part of a group class where there are opportunities for such things.


Several years ago, I went with a group tubing on the Grand River. It’s a lazy river but it was still out of my comfort zone. Took me forever to get in the tube and get comfortable. But once I did, I really enjoyed it and ended up seeking out the “faster” parts. (Nicole)

Nicole in a bright red PFD and an off white hat

Triathlon

Doing triathlon made me feel as if I was capable of something that had previously seemed impossible for me. The Olympic distance especially. I still look back on it with incredulity. (Tracy)

Winter Biking

Riding my fat bike in the snow is the thing that I do that’s outside my comfort zone and makes me feel like a badass. Partly doing any physical activity in Canadian winter, in the snow and ice, makes you feel like a badass. Fat biking takes it up one more notch when you’re riding in the woods. It feels like a wild wonderful wintertime adventure and it makes me smile. (Sam)

Sam on a fat bike in the snow

All of them

All of them! I’m not a natural athlete and everything I do scares me a little sometimes. Overcoming that fear is powerful. (Diane)

Diane swimming

How about you? What’s outside your comfort zone and makes you feel like a badass?

motivation

Change, Comfort Zones, and Saying Nope

Christine Hennebury7 Comments

I know that growth requires some discomfort.

I recognize that change is challenging.

I understand that doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is pointless.

However, I still HATE being told that I have to step out of my comfort zone.

For me, even the phrasing is upsetting.

It’s a disorienting piece of advice, like being told to abandon everything you know and leap into the unknown.

My immediate reaction is to say ‘NOPE.”

A drawing in blank ink on white paper of a young person with bobbed hair. They are standing next to a ladder that leads to a diving board that extends over a very small swimming pool. They are saying the word 'Nope.'
Luckily, I have no comfort zone when it comes to sharing my drawings. I’m still learning and I mess stuff up regularly
but as long as they make the point I was trying to make, I go ahead and post them.

So, I was really expecting to agree with Melody Wilding’s Please stop telling me to leave my comfort zone it seemed like it was going to be the sort of advice I use with my clients.  I was expecting to be disappointed that I hadn’t written the piece.

That’s not how it worked out.

Even though she and I share a lot of the same perspective on the value of ‘comfort zones’ and the same distaste for being told that leaving that zone is the only way to grow, I found her depiction of leaving a comfort zone to be very odd.  It was as if, for Wilding, there were only two states of being – living in a comfort zone or constantly maximizing your stress.

That’s a very extreme view. It’s no wonder that she wants to stay in her comfort zone if the only other option is full crisis-mode.  

I don’t want anyone to regularly spend time in full crisis-mode, that’s not good for your health. However, I also don’t want anyone to stay confined to a ‘comfort zone’ if they want something else for themselves.

That’s why, when I have to coax my clients toward change, I encourage them to EXPAND their comfort zone. To take small risks, be slightly uncomfortable, and gradually increase what the actions and activities that they are comfortable with.

I tell them that change is difficult and it can be uncomfortable. And I remind them that some people enjoy the disorienting feeling of jumping right into something new. If my client doesn’t enjoy that feeling, then there are lots of other ways to change and to grow – slowly.

It will require a certain amount of willingness to be uncomfortable, and maybe even a few minutes of panic, in some cases. However, they can build up their tolerance for those feelings.

And, in talking about this whole issue with some of the other Fit is a Feminist Issue bloggers, I came to realize that there was an aspect of the issue of comfort zones that I had been missing. 

Since I am firmly pro-comfort zone, I didn’t know that there are people (Hi Mina!) for whom the comfort zone is actually UNcomfortable – it feels too safe, too easy, too controlled.  So getting away from that comfortable feeling feels GOOD to them, they aren’t ‘stepping outside their comfort zone’ in the same way I am. They are stepping TOWARDS something that feels better for them.

(So, perhaps there are multiple kinds of comfort zones. Maybe some are about staying the same and some are about constant change, depending on what feels right for you.)

But, when it comes to what we usually mean when talk about comfort zones (i.e. staying in a ‘low-risk’ area skills-wise), I agree with Wilding about their importance. There is a lot of valuable work to be done from within an individual’s comfort zone, a lot of good things come from there. I don’t advocate making yourself miserable for no reason, or worse, just to show that you can step outside your comfort zone.

And I think that she and I are probably operating in some of the same spheres – calculated risks, small steps, gradual growth –  but I think that there is something off about setting up comfort and panicked stress as a dichotomy.

Ultimately, these quick snippets of advice that get tossed around as memes are lacking in nuance. They are one-size-fits-all and it can be annoying the way they held up as received truths.

When you are trying to make changes in your fitness, your self-care, or in your habits, you have to take your own path.

Maybe you thrive on the stress of the unknown and you love the challenge of overcoming your discomfort and meeting your goals. If that’s the case, keep stepping towards what feels good.

Or, maybe you are more like me (and, apparently, Wilding) and you find that full-on discomfort is overwhelming and prevents you from making progress toward your goals. If that’s the case, keep taking those small steps outward and EXPAND your comfort zone until you are where you want to be.

Neither approach is bad or wrong in itself.  It just might be the wrong tool for a given person and we can’t presume that our approach is the ONLY way to get things done.  Obviously, different tools work for different people 

One of my favourite writing quotes is by A.J. Liebling  – “The only way to write is well, how you do it is your own damn business.”

The same principle works when it comes to making changes – “The only way to change is by changing, how you do it is your own damn business.”

So, my question is, how DO you like to change?

Do you jump toward that feeling of discomfort or do you prefer to deal with it step by step?