Author: amandalynnstubley

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“Skinny” trees, “cheating,” and other words to avoid this Holiday season

amandalynnstubley

You’ll have to pardon me today, I’m having a moment. So too, apparently are “skinny” or “pencil” Christmas trees. I don’t mind developing home fashions for the holidays, but the conversation, I can do without.

screen-shot image of headline rom Washington Post article about "Skinny" Christmas trees,

I’m feeling fed up with the steady stream of judging, guilt-inducing and just bizarre language about the Holiday and Christmas season. This language is certainly not “seasonal” – it’s not restricted to only December. But I seem to have hit my limit with it. My limit? This headline, from yesterday’s Washington Post.

I think, really, it’s the “Treezempic” term – apparently a term developed in social media.

In Western culture, and perhaps especially it seems North American culture, we seem to have a fixation with monitoring our eating. There is even developing consideration of this fixation, sometimes called Orthorexia, in terms of mental health.

The US National Eating Disorders Association describes Orthorexia as “an obsession with proper or ‘healthful’ eating.” Here they describe the risks of orthorexia:

Although being aware of and concerned with the nutritional quality of the food you eat isn’t a problem in and of itself, people with orthorexia become so fixated on so-called ‘healthy eating’ that they actually damage their own well-being and experience health consequences such as malnutrition and/or impairment of psychosocial functioning.

Terms like “indulgent” food, “clean eating,” “pure” food… in my opinion, they all risk putting our mindset toward this kind of thinking.

This week, I was disappointed to hear a radio interview with a dietician who ostensibly was promoting eating well over the Holidays, but seemed instead to focus on ‘indulging,’ but “not too much,” giving yourself permission to “cheat” and generally not chilling out and instead thinking and worrying a lot about food.

Google image search for "fashion Santa" showing thin men in red suits and leather jackets

This whole thing reminds me of “Skinny” or “Fashion” Santa, which apparently goes back to 2015 (but still seems new to me!).

The alternative? Well I think we should all just take a beat. Enjoy a holiday. If you celebrate over the Holidays, enjoy it. If you are not celebrating, perhaps enjoy the slow-down if you get one? (And if instead you are working hard to help those who do celebrate have time off, thank you!) And see if you can have something delicious without the fixation. Do it for me, do it to fight the dang Treezempic. Thanks

fitness

Repost: Work-Life Balance

amandalynnstubley

I hope your end-of-summer was great. I enjoyed mine, but had some big work stress due to a combination of growth and opportunities for myself, and loss of employees in my company… sigh.

So I have had a sad lack of summer swimming…

I am reminded that I thought about this need for balance last year, and so I share this post, as much to inspire myself as to share with you:

Work life balance? What about just (physical) balance?

Amanda Lynn

Balance.  Stock photo.
fitness

Living My Best Life: Summer Wednesdays

amandalynnstubley

What a month it has been – life as a full-on business woman is very intense. As a reminder, 18 months ago I returned to a career in the finance industry, after a 20 year hiatus where I had children, earned several degrees and then transitioned to professional musician and contract professor… It has been quite an 18 months.

In late July, I realized that I had not yet made it to my favourite Lake Huron beach and was aghast. I was afraid that it was going to be late October and I would be filled with regret about my lost summer adventures. I am lucky that I have supportive management, and flexibility in my working hours, and so I decided to do something – Summer Wednesdays were born.

Photo of woman's abdomen, legs and feet, looking down her body toward a muddy looking lake

What are Summer Wednesdays? Well, some of my luckiest colleagues work for companies who have “Wellness Programs” and “Early Release” days that designate half-days off, often on Fridays or before a long weekend. I realized I could create my own personal program (with the caveat of course that I still have to get my work done, just on my own schedule). Summer Wednesdays are my plan to sign off of work early, maybe 2-3pm, on Wednesdays in summer, and drive to one of the gorgeous Great Lakes beaches near me.

So the first Summer Wednesday came and went, and there was just no tearing me away from my desk. So Thursday morning, I put on my bathing suit underneath my clothing, and set down to work. Thrilled, I drove down to Lake Erie and had a truly glorious 4 hour visit, complete with nap on the beach and many swims. So in great irony, Summer Wednesday I was a success, even if it happened on a Thursday.

Summer Wednesday 2 was not so great. I was anxious. I was overwhelmed. I had many excuses and the week slipped past me. So Summer Wednesday 2 earned a DNF.

Selfie of woman with wet hair, smiling at the camera, with a large sign behind her reading St. Mary's Quarry
The smile on my face here tells you what Summer Wednesdays mean to me

Summer Wednesday 3 just happened this week. After not making it last week, I was pretty worried this week. I tried to get more realistic and planned a trip to a quarry about 30 minutes from here. It worked, and I had a wonderfully refreshing swim. (Hilariously I also managed to start a video call to my Vice President when I put my phone in my back pocket. I heard someone calling my name behind me and realized it was my phone. I pulled out my phone – with full view of my chest and bathing suit – and apologized profusely. She said she realized it was a pocket call, but stayed on the call, because she wanted to make sure I was ok. *cue above where I said I have supportive management).

So that’s my check-in this month. I have probably 4 more Wednesdays left in the swimming season, so Summer Wednesdays 4 – 7 represent opportunities for me. I’m curious – how do you prioritize your own self, in the midst of a very busy life? I think I need to keep working on this.

a photo of Lake Erie with the sun reflecting on waves and the sandy beach in the foreground
Lake Erie – the muddiest of the Great Lakes, but still a miracle!
Photo of a beach scene at the quarry - there is green grass with blankets laying on it and in the distance, a large body of water with floating rafts and a floating trampoline on it
The Quarry – so refreshing and so close to home!
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Adaptation: How I Still Enjoyed My Summer Vacation

amandalynnstubley
The bow of a canoe on a green lake with green trees in the background
The bow of the canoe at Ruth Roy Lake, a magical, tiny lake

Happy summer! I’m just back from a camping and canoeing vacation, and I am thinking all about how to keep going when I’m sore.

My knee is still troubling me, and seems to be vulnerable to reinjury if I step hard on it. I will need to address whatever is causing this knee grief – my x-ray was negative, so I imagine physiotherapy and an MRI are in my future. But while I wait for those processes, I am trying to get creative and asking for help to keep doing the activities I love.


In order to at least stay moderately active, I’ve taken to wearing a knee brace while walking. What a difference it has made! I was able to enjoy a week of tent camping and a full day interior canoe adventure, by avoiding reinjuring it, and using a cane on unstable surfaces (campground paths, hiking trails).

In doing that, and with the help of my family, I had a totally fun week at Killarney Provincial Park. Yay!

Self of a woman in ball cap and sunglasses in a canoe
In my happy place – on the water!
Image of woman with knee brace on, at fire pit, sitting with a a lighter in her hands
One of the joys of camping for me is getting to flex my fire making skills. Note the knee brace!
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Ouch! Knee Pain and Staying Active

amandalynnstubley3 Comments

Well, I have sad news this month. I hurt my knee, and it is no fun. Turns out hurt knees hurt!

I actually hurt my knee back in April, in the tiniest turn to the right while walking – so tiny that when I demonstrated the turn to my doctor, she didn’t see it – she said, “when are you going to turn?” But my knee sure knew I had turned.

So, the past 8 weeks or so, I have been doing very little walking. It was just getting back to feeling better, and last week I stepped with determination at the end of loading up my car for a camping trip and ouch!

I hurt this knee 25 years ago while cycling in Toronto, and I have a large double scar across my kneecap – my personal souvenir of Toronto’s famous streetcar tracks. So I always call it my ‘good knee’ since it’s been so good to me after the injury. But I have a suspicion something is amiss inside that knee, as the pain comes and goes…

So now I’ve booked in for that x-ray I didn’t get around to after the first hurt. And I’m trying to identify ways I can stay even mildly active while I deal with… whatever this is.

Sam has been an inspiration in many ways to me (see posts here and here, for example) not the least of which the way she stayed active through waiting for and then having two knee replacements! Fun fact – her surgeon is my surgeon, because in about the same time frame I’ve had two hip repairs.

Photo of woman smiling at camera on a sidewalk, in front of the marquee sign for the Chicago Theatre
You can’t see it, but I survived a very fun trip to Chicago last month by using a cane everywhere I went. So helpful!

As someone who’s lived with hip pain for years, it’s been a shock to realize how unprotected our knee joints are – they’re just out there bending in any direction our muscles let them go. 

I’m still working a very intense (and fascinating!) business job and my project of work-life balance is ongoing… but I can’t walk too far right now.

Do you have some advice on staying active with limited mobility? I’m needing it! Do you have a great, non-weight bearing yoga routine you can point me to? I’d love to hear it.

Let me know, because I think I’m in this for a while.

Thanks!

fitness

Reflecting On An Age-Defying Championship

amandalynnstubley

From a very young age I loved skating, and from that young age I started to skate. I have written about skating before on this blog (Back on the Ice – For a Moment). I longed to be a graceful, whisp-y figure, spinning in circles, skirt flying all ways. I remember learning to glide forward on one skate, other leg behind me, arms wide open and reaching forward, when I was four. I felt like a princess. I was quite surprised to realize that my leg was really not up as high as my teachers, but still loved it.

I think my love of skating was partly because, in my town of 800 people on the Alaska Highway, there really wasn’t much else that kids did for recreation. But it was also it felt so good. So, when we moved to a rural logging town on the West Coast, with no skating rink that my mom would be able to take me to, I was pretty heartbroken. Later, when I moved to Montreal as a young adult, it was a balm to my heartache when I could put on tights and skirt and go skate on the ponds in the urban parks there. Looking back I’m proud of myself – skating on that rough pond ice, poorly maintained, if at all.

So when I heard this week’s World Championship win by Canadians Deanna Stellato-Dudek and Maxime Deschamps, I knew I had to write about it. The duo won in Pairs Figure Skating – a laudable accomplishment. But what is record-breaking is that at 40, Stellato-Dudek is the oldest female world champion – officially CBC describes that she is “the oldest woman to win a world title in sports history,” and the accomplishment has made international news (see here, here, and here)

I am finding this story to be quite fascinating, as I suppose many others are. Stellato-Dudek was a rising champion teenage figure skater, when chronic hip injuries led to her retirement. She put her skates back on at 36 in response to a team-building conversation exercise: “What would you do in your life if you knew you couldn’t fail at it?”

I’m wondering what messages Stellato-Dudek’s story gifts us with? What potential might we be leaving behind, or leaving on the table? I don’t think I’ll be returning to figure skating lessons, and I’m honestly ok with that. But I do feel like this moment is one worth both celebrating and reflecting on.

When interviewed by the CBC, Stellato-Dudek commented “I hope it encourages people not to stop until they’ve reached their potential.” What is your reaction to Deanna Stellato-Dudek’s accomplishment? Do you think we should even be paying so much attention to her age? Do you find any resonances in your own life? Let me know? I would love to hear.

Skates on red wall
fitness

January is for… yoga?

amandalynnstubley

Well, welcome to January. I am trying to stay positive, but often in my life January has felt like a slog… the fun holiday season is over, the days are short and work is everywhere, it seems. So I’ve been trying to lean into my plans and intentions for myself – and on that front, it’s working!

photo of dates from Jan. 9-18 with the times of sunrise and sun set notedl

I am continuing to ‘micro-blog’ or ‘micro-journal,’ as I wrote about last month. Here is a photo of this week – isn’t it fascinating how quickly the day length changes?

I’m also taking seriously my word of the year: present. I intentionally chose an ambiguous word, so I can benefit from multiple meanings – I am working to notice what is around me, to take it in, and honestly I am also looking for opportunities to get myself presents. Hey it’s my word. Also, I went to bed at 11:30pm on New Year’s Eve, as a present to myself, and as a reminder that I can rest, which is what I really wanted to do.

Mostly, though, my January has been taken up with YOGA. That seems pretty remarkable to me… I’m not much for exercise, despite my now several years of blogging here. I am a feminist though, and I have a body, and it turns out I have a lot to say about it. Like many of us, I decided to take on the Yoga With Adriene’s January Flow practice. I dutifully did the first eight days of FLOW, but got sick and also noticed my wrists were getting quite sore, not having built up to working daily. 

So, taking a cue from Catherine, I redesigned my plan. I am still doing the practice (or challenge?), but I’ll do it my way, which is that it’s probably going to take me until March to get through all those days. Or at least mid-February. I’m fine with that though. I have my yoga mat in my home office, and I am enjoying moving to the floor and away from my desk. I have taken a full week off and feel fine now.

To help reset my distant sense of failure, I was thrilled to sign up for a Yoga and Tea class in a rural greenhouse near my town. That was thanks to my friend Carrie, who encouraged me to go to my FIRST yoga class about a year ago (she’s great!). So I drove about 20 minutes out of town on some sketchy roads with blowing snow, to a very big greenhouse. What a GREAT idea that is – it was warm and so bright! The yoga class was satisfying but not really challenging. And let me tell you, it was a thrill when the instructor asked if everyone was familiar with some yoga and I raised my hand!

Photo from the inside of the roof of a glass greenhouse with snow on it, and blue sky behind it. There is a front of a palm-like tree in the foreground.
So I think my favourite part of the class was this view of the roof – you could hear the wind blow through it, but we were warm and cozy on the astro-turf.

Carrie and another friend of hers and I had a great visit afterwards, and I am looking forward to going back. That is my present to myself, I think. And it keeps me present, so hey, double win!

Two women smiling at a camera, one is wearing glasses and squinting a bit
Carrie and I feeling the sun and warmth and being happy. Well she was – I think I was squinting at the camera in the sun.
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Daily Writing: How I cope with the darkest days

amandalynnstubley1 Comment

This is the time of year when we hear about “Seasonal Affective Disorder” or SAD. SAD is apparently also known as Seasonal or Winter Depression, and I have always wished there was a less depressing-sounding name for the phenomenon of feeling down in winter time.

This year, as we approached the winter solstice, and the shortest day of the year, I took up a practice I had started several years ago, when I realized the approaching darkest days of winter were making me worried. I was anxious about the long, dark days making me feel hopeless. As a way of coping, I started noting down the sunrise and sunset on a sheet of paper on my desk.

As so often happens in life, the simple act of paying attention to a feeling changed it. I found that noticing the length of the day, and noting how it changed, turned my worry into interest, and by the time the shortest day approached, I was kind of excited about it. I also found it pretty fascinating to realize that it is more meaningful (for me, at least) to think of this dark time as a season, rather than a single day. The days get shorter and shorter, the shortest day comes, and then they get longer and longer.

photo of dates in a booklet, starting Dec. 14, 7:47 4:50pm, ending Dec. 20, 7:53 4:53pm

The shortest days of the year are both before and after the solstice, so by the time the winter solstice arrives, we are actually halfway through the dark days. Semantics perhaps, but I have found a lot of relief in that realization.

Last year, when I was surviving a pretty dark time professionally, I made myself a tiny book to record the days in. This year, I have a new job I love, and I was very busy and didn’t make myself a booklet. I thought I might forgo the practice altogether, but relented and found this tiny booklet, where I have been recording sunrise and sunset since November 1st.

Although this year I didn’t have the same need to comfort and reassure myself that the days will soon be longer, the act of recording the times the sun will appear has still been meaningful for me. Noting the passing of time is helping me find work-life balance in my job. I also just love knowing what I am going to do as soon as I sit down at my desk.

I have never been an effective journal-writer, but I do feel good about pragmatic, habitual writing like this. I guess it’s kind of like micro-journaling – is that a thing?

Red berries and green branches on white snow
fitness

Spa Day for Women: an alternate to Golf?

amandalynnstubley

I’m writing this after returning from a trip to the city for a corporate holiday event, and I’m in a mood to muse. Having recently left post secondary education and returned to a career I had left behind, and it has been fascinating to see what has changed and what hasn’t, in the 20 years since I last was a businesswoman.

Selfie of woman smiling in surprise at camera. she has pink and grey hair and is wearing a striped sweater. she is seated on a train
On the train – my caption on social media was “I’m doing something a little crazy right now”

For one thing, it looks like I may be able to avoid learning to golf! I used to say that if I wanted to prioritize career advancement, I may need to take golf lessons. Indeed, golfing for career goals is a thing.

So in my 8 months back in business, I am pleased to have had a few pleasant social opportunities – lunches, dinners, holiday parties… but awhile back I was invited to a afternoon at a spa, sponsored by a vendor. It was specifically framed as a women’s event, which caught my eye.

I don’t really know how I ended up on the list of invitees, but I wasn’t going to turn it down. And I’m so glad I didn’t. In truth, I’d never been to a spa. I’d never heard of them, outside of some stereotype of eastern European mud-baths… I didn’t come from a wealthy family, nor from a family who was going to spend a lot of money indulgently. Plus I grew up in a small logging town. There were no spas. Once I started being a city gal, I had no idea what they were. Eventually I did clue in, but I still never considered going.

image reads "dear guest: please up us preserve a tranquil environment by using a 'spa voice' and turning off cell phones and other electronic devices while in the spa'
Spa voice – it’s a real thing (evidently)

So, I went. And it was pretty lovely. Yes we walked around in robes and ‘slippers’ (flip-flops). We had water with citrus and were encouraged to speak with a “spa voice” (clearly a topic for a linguistic blog!). I LOVED the “water therapies” – a citrus-scented steam room, a cool pool and a whirlpool. I had my first massage in years and it was great. After our ‘services,’ we got dressed and headed to restaurant as a group of about 15 for a very enjoyable dinner.

Beyond the getting pampered, I was struck by the chance to be with a bunch of women colleagues. The event was sponsored by some female professionals who tend to work for companies in my industry. We are their clients. It was pretty cool to see so many powerful women in one place, and I made some important connections for myself.

photo of dining table in restaurant with glass window looking out onto the CN Tower

So spas and exercise… they kind of go together, maybe? For me, the power of solidarity, and an alternate opportunity to connect was meaningful.

fitness

Remembering: My Loss and My Gain

amandalynnstubley
image of woman smiling at a camera while seated in a canoe on a lake. Behind her in the boat are 2 young boys in life jackets and a man. All are holding paddles

October is Pregnancy Loss Awareness month and I want to share the post below, of my own pregnancy loss. I originally wrote the post for my Facebook account. I am a musician and I have a pretty wide engagement with my community there. For that reason, when I wanted to let my broader community known about my experience, I chose to post my thoughts there. Samantha is my “friend” and my friend in real life too; she read my post, recognized that it touches on fitness, gender and reflection, and so encouraged me to share it here.

I am so glad I did. Talking about loss is scary and painful, but it can help to let the pain dissipate; writing the post below certainly did help me. I also found out just how many women in my life had experienced pregnancy loss. One of the saddest parts of my miscarriage for me was realizing how common it is, and how little I realized about that.

I am still sorry about that miscarriage, but my deep sense of loss has transformed into something much less painful and more… balanced? Somehow my loss feels like it fits into the hills and valleys of my life and I’m actually ok with it. I know when women have pregnancy loss at later stages that is far less possible… I am very grateful that I can experience it that way.

My Loss and My Gain: Killarney 2004/2016 (Guest post)