I have been in the same book club for over 27 years. I have a pretty good record when it comes to keeping up with the books each month. Until last year, I rarely arrived at book club, not having finished that month’s book. This year, I’m finding my attention span is flimsy. I’ll start a book. It may be interesting to me. For many reasons, I just can’t keep my focus, for very long.
Is my trouble with being able to focus due to our collectively shrinking attention spans? Is it due to being brain tired from work that can be emotionally heavy? Is it due to my own emotionally heavy 2025?
How do I describe the last year? A year in which I lost my Mom. I also lost my beloved shih-tzu. My other beloved senior schnauzer has advancing kidney disease. My husband and I have been giving him sub-cutaneous fluids, and other meds, to keep him comfortable, and still occasionally peppy, as long as possible.
Then, there were the two uncles who died (one on the same day as my Mom). Also, my sister’s Mother-in-law, a beloved member of our family, also died. Each of these people lived to generous, advanced ages and had good lives.
I keep thinking that I want to write about sad things in a way that is humorous. I want to make note of the happy things too. I need to work on my comedic writing. Perhaps, that will be a goal for 2026.
There were many good things in 2025. The friends and family who were there. Strengthened relationships with people very important to me. There were adorable 3 year olds.
I was visiting my Dad, the other day, who now lives in a very nice assisted living community. When I went to his room, he was waking up from a nap. He started saying he felt funny. He said, he didn’t know how to explain it. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it. He also has mild dementia, so that is not unususal. But, I asked him, “are you not feeling well?” “No, I feel fine”, he said, “I don’t know how to explain it”, he said. We went through a few adjectives and landed on “a bit anxious.” “Ah, yes”, I thought. More evidence, we are related.
My sister and BIL, also visited, while I was with my Dad, along with the adorable 3 year old. Three year olds have a way of adding healthy doses of smiles to the room, which linger throughout the day.
While we were all sitting in the common area, “bistro”, another resident entered the room. She was all smiles and very friendly. She also seemed blissfully unaware that the muu-muu she was wearing was pretty see-through and short. She confidently swayed and sauntered as she made herself a coffee. It made me giggle. Not at her. But, just at the random, simple, silliness of life. I am glad for her that she was so happy in her flimsy muu-muu.
My fitness schedule has been pretty consistent. I have managed to get out for one or two short jogs/week, even though December has been more icy than usual. I have enjoyed two or three great strength and conditioning workouts/week (some at new places, that I like). Those times at the gym continue to be a good distraction from the daily stresses. I often have friends with me, which is a great treat, but, also, movement continues to clear my head and strengthen my soul in ways I can only appreciate.
In 2026, I’d like to have the ability to strengthen my attention span. I want to enjoy more books. I want to write more. I want to be creative in ways that spark joy.
I want to spark more joy in 2026. That’s what I keep thinking. I don’t want to parade around in a flimsy muu-muu. I want the feeling of joy that surpasses what is physical or obvious on the surface.
I wish more joy for myself and for everyone.
