2025 can end anytime…or not

By the beginning of October, I found myself wishing 2025 would end. 

My dog died in April.

My Mom died in July. 

My Uncle died on the same day as my Mom, in July.

My Dad is adjusting to his new assisted-living residence. Dementia makes that a bit more challenging than expected.

My sister’s mother-in-law died last week 

This is not the start of a Loretta Lynn tribute song.

I could continue to list off the reasons why I can’t wait to see 2025 in the rear view mirror. 

I like the idea of a new start, as much as anyone. A new year offers the chance for new fortunes. Better fortunes? A real vacation or two? Exciting career opportunities? Hope for the world’s seemingly fragile state?  

I am telling myself to stop wishing for 2025 to end.

I don’t like wishing my life away. Whether a week or a month or two or a year.

Not to mention, who knows if a new year will bring better fortunes. There are other options.

It’s true. 2025 hasn’t been my best year. Yet, I am here. I am healthy, and, like any day, week, or year, mixed in with the heartache and stress, there have been some good things. 

It’s not the easiest thing to say out loud, but, as much as I miss my Mom, I don’t miss her illness. She was sick for a couple years. Her illness kept her housebound, highly medicated, and, not completely herself. I grieved every bit of my Mom I lost during that time. I will forever miss the opportunity to call my Mom, but, moving on from that period of time, is not completely a bad thing. I’m so fortunate to have had MY Mom for 53 years.

Grief has a way of shining a light on the supportive people around me. I am so grateful for those supportive people.

Just over a year ago, I was struggling with inexplicable balance issues, that seem to have subsided for several months now. This is a huge relief, when I set out for a run or for my daily walk to work.

My sister continues to amaze me, in her ability to take care of necessary little details that continue to come up, when caring for elderly parents. 

My husband makes me proud. He’s the best life partner for me and I’m so grateful for him every day.

My stepdaughter has been a great source of comfort and I am proud of her and her early adulthood achievements and stability. All while she’s experienced her own losses. 

I have remained consistent with my fitness throughout this year and I am proud of myself for working through all the grief, and, grateful that I am able to do so. I still say thank you, as part of, my mantras, while on my long jogs. I continue to see fitness as the best way to weather life’s rollercoaster moments (I’ve never been a fan of rollercoasters).

The world continues to make me shake my head. From fascist leaders to unnecessary civilian deaths to growing antisemitism, I am buoyed by the friends who continue to make my immediate world make sense. 

Friends, in general, continue to be a bright spot, whether working out next to me, working in the cubicle next to me, sharing a meal or a text. 2025 has been a bright spot for highlighting the power of friendship. 

The little ones (toddlers) and young adults in my sphere continue to bring joy and delight. 

My elderly schnauzer (14+) who gave us a scare over a year ago but continues to age in bittersweet ways, brings me many moments of joy, each day. Oh Miggy, please continue to become an even older adorable fur baby.

There is always music and films and books and grateful moments of learning and escapism.

Around Halloween I decided that wishing the rest of the year away would be a frightful idea. I’d rather believe there are still good moments to come, in these last two months of the year.

So, I don’t wish for 2025 to end. I look for the moments, each day, where I can add value to those around me, seek fitness endorphins, revel in the bliss of simple rituals, enjoy hearty laughs and sneaky joys. These moments will help me successfully navigate the puddles I may need to jump over (hopefully, without being wobbly).

I’m ready for some clowning around.

My husband and I in quickly cobbled together costumes for a friend’s costume birthday party.