Nicole didn’t have a good run and is “OK” with it

I went for a run this morning and “just didn’t feel like it.”

I opened the door around 7 am and it was still dark and the wind was howling. The temperature wasn’t that bad but the wind was unwelcoming. I continued down a few steps and set my watch to “Run” and started slowly. I was cautious because I wasn’t sure if there was still black ice on the sidewalk and felt it was best to approach with care.

I figured that I would gain momentum. 9 times out of 10 I do. This time I didn’t. My body felt unmotivated. I had energy but the rhythmic bopping of the jog, which usually feels great, felt clunky.

I stopped and turned off “Run”. I walked a bit. I jogged a bit. I shortened the planned distance in my head. I jogged/walked about 3 kilometres, in the end.

When I got to my favourite coffee shop the baristas had my Americano misto ready in my Muuse reusable cup and asked me how my run went. “Meh.” “It was OK.” I explained why it wasn’t great and why this is not typical for me. I realized as I was talking that I didn’t need to explain. It wasn’t a big deal. But, I don’t like not finishing a run. I missed the usual runner’s high on completion.

I continued with my day. Haphazardly working on an assignment I’ve been procrastinating about. Also, thinking about a job interview I’m not really interested in. Doing the back and forth between “it’s worth it, even for the experience” and “I really don’t think I want that type of job anymore” and “I need a job. I can’t let this ‘break’ go on too much longer..”

I finished one small part of the assignment and felt it was a good enough reason to go take a break. I took a bath. I ruminated some more and then decided to do a Yoga with Adrienne video that was meant to be a morning “wake-up”. I thought it might reset my day. But, about 10 minutes into the video I decided I really wasn’t into that either and turned it off.

I am always telling myself and others that it’s OK not to do everything perfectly all of the time. It’s OK to have a lackluster workout. It’s OK to feel blah and just sit in it.

I’m writing this to put this out there, so that perhaps, I believe it more than I think I do. It’s OK. I’ll have another great workout before I know it. This blah feeling will pass. I’ll figure out my job situation.

Just be, Nicole. Just be. Oh, and just go finish that assignment.

Nicole P. usually loves a good run, but not today.

4 thoughts on “Nicole didn’t have a good run and is “OK” with it

  1. I’m with you. I await with patience the next “wow” workout. In the meantime, I’m doing the ones that I’m glad I did, because I’m happy to have moved, even if it felt inefficient, clunky and awkward. Thanks for offering me some company in that feeling with this post.

  2. Too bad some people can’t do as you did – and listen to their bodies! I certainly know it can be hard – maybe hard to distinguish between a day that’ll turn out fine, even great, and a day when you should turn around & let it go – but it’s great to recognize those turn-around days when they happen! Thanks for telling about it. I hope it influences others who feel too compelled to finish every single planned workout. Life just isn’t that predictable!

    1. I’m not always good at listening and rest days but it felt necessary. I felt bad about it the rest of the day and that was part of the reason I wrote this – to change the messaging in my head. And I feel much better (and had a good workout this morning) for it!

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