This blog isn’t all sweetness and light, glitter and unicorns, puppies and rainbows.
There are sad things, hard things in our lives too. And I’ve written about lots of those sad things. Mostly death and also about autumn sadness. See Struggling with September Sadness.
Nine years ago this week, my sister died and I still struggle. Since we started the blog, my father died and so did both of my parents-in-law.
See On counting almonds, searching for Devil’s Claw, and remembering Avis.
See On “special weather,” bike commuting, and missing certain people.
See One of the hardest parts of getting older.
The list goes on. Sarah’s mother, who I felt I was just getting to know, died. Rob’s mother died.
I also lost two dogs, one to cancer and the other drowned. That’s a lot of death. And I don’t have happy views about death. I think death is bad.
Despite holding a lot of dire views about death and its badness, and having very sad things happen, I’m generally a happy person. My cheerfulness is robust and irrational. I joke with my teenagers about hedonistic nihilism. None of it has any greater meaning but that doesn’t mean there isn’t beauty in the world and a lot of pleasure to be had along the way.
Lately though I’m less happy. And the twin causes of my misery are far less serious than death.
First, it was the hot flashes, accompanied of course by middle of the night dread and anxiety. That’s gotten better now I know what’s going on. No panic, less dread, I just go back to sleep.
Second, on came the knee pain. I’ve been struggling with knee pain for years. I’ve been doing physio for years. I ran the Pride 5 km with knee pain and I ride my bike from Toronto to Montreal with knee pain.
Lately though it’s been getting a lot worse. I’m still able to ride and I’m still able to hike. It hurts most at night, in bed. I can’t go to sleep and then when I get to sleep I wake up in pain. I’ve had an MRI. I’ve seen the knee surgeon.
It’s not really fixable. It’s osteoarthritis. Severe grade cartiledge degradation, is what the MRI showed.
I’m not anywhere near ready for knee surgery. Just ibuprofen, ice, and physio.
I’m in pain and I hate this.
So it’s back to physio. It’s not a particularly exciting training goal but my goal for this winter is focusing on minimizing knee pain. Woohoo!
I’ve been reading lots about the connection between menopause and osteoarthritis.
See Why More Women Have Osteoarthritis and Osteoarthritis associated with estrogen deficiency.
I wish I had more exciting news. Complaining about sore knees doesn’t make for the most exciting of blog posts.
As a result of my sore knees, I’m starting to get unsolicited advice from people about weight loss. Interestingly, I don’t hear that so much from medical professionals. The physio people say they see as many thin people for osteoarthritis as they do overweight people. They also worry, with good reason, that people who set out to lose weight often end up weighing more.
So, definitely physio. Maybe, maybe lose some weight. I don’t know. I’m going to keep riding over the winter, logging some hours on the indoor trainer too. I’ve also started weight training with a personal trainer. (I’ll blog about that too.)
On the bright side, I’m excited about our book!
Mark your calendars and hold the date. Saturday afternoon, April 28, 2 pm, at the Landon Branch of the London Public Library. See you there!
There is no easy way around death. I’m sorry you’ve had so much all at once and hope your book launch brings some welcomed life. I’m in perimenopause and enjoying some of the same symptoms. Hello 4am again. Black cohosh really helped with sea cucumber growing under both butt cheeks so that’s great. Here’s to focusing on what’s good. 😉
Maybe because it is fall, there is always a sense to me that as the dreary month of November approaches that I too think of those I have lost. Thinking of you also Samantha. As to the knee pain–been there, done that. Having had two knee replacements I know what you are feeling. I put off my surgeries until I was 60 and I’m glad. That being said the fact that you love bike riding is a big plus as that one of the best exercises for knees. This year after about 5 years (2 years post last knee surgery) I was able to ride a bike again and it felt like such freedom. Just keep pedalling.