Guest Post

A Love Letter to My Prosthetic Hip on Our First Anniversary (Guest Post)

by Abby E

Dear Bionic Hip,

Even though we have been together for a year now, I still remember the day we met like it was yesterday. God, you were a pain in my ass. I could barely stand, having you around. Most new relationships sweep you off your feet, but no, you knocked me right off mine. Still, I couldn’t bear to part with you. I had been waiting so long for you to finally show up in my life that I just knew I had to make this work.

At first, everything was harder because of you, and the night we spent in the emergency room because we couldn’t get our morphine prescription refilled in time was pure hell. That night I learned you could cause me as much pain as my old hip. The difference was that I knew you would make things better eventually, once I got used to you.

It took months of hard work to get back on my feet after you showed up, but it was worth every goddamned fucking day of doddering around on crutches, risking my neck just going up and down steps or even getting in and out of the shower. It was completely worth five fucking weeks of sleeping propped up in bed because I had too much trouble keeping the pillow between my knees to safely sleep on my left side and sleeping on my right side made my leg feel like it was going to explode. It was worth every bloody moment of worry that I’d dislocate you just by rotating my ankle too much. Sometimes, however, I thought about doing it just to piss you off.

Maybe then you’d know how I felt.

Once we got more comfortable with each other things started working out. We started going for long walks around the block (long, mostly because they were kinda slow) and after a while the doctor lifted all restrictions on our … activities, and then we were off to the races. But not literally. The doctor said we probably shouldn’t do that. Ever.

We did other things though, we just didn’t tell the surgeon about them. We did much more walking and some biking and a bit of dancing and some Viking combat — you know, the usual sorts of things people do. And when we got through our six-month checkup together, I knew we’d make it.

So here’s to you, Bionic Hip. We’ve had an amazing year, and even though we both know I will eventually replace you with a younger model, I hope we can still enjoy many more years together. May our every anniversary be titanium.



Abby E. is a Toronto-based freelance editor who loves science, philosophy, and speculative fiction. She is not a crazy cat lady, just a crazy lady who has cats.