I’m not sure what it is, what’s changed, but I’ve been loving Aikido lately. It’s making me smile big goofy grins. Sometimes I’m still sort of smiling hours after.
What’s up with that?
Partly, it’s been a change in training partners. I’m getting to play with the brown belts a lot and they’re fun.
Why? Well I think the influx of new white and yellow belts means that I’m often one of the more senior people on the mat. Twice now I’ve had to call the bow in. So it clearly puts me on the senior side of the mat when we divide up.
Partly, I think I’ve made peace with training forever as a green belt. I can’t test for brown until my rolls improve even though rolls aren’t on my test. And that’s okay.
I’ve also gotten lots better at some things so I no longer feel like a green belt imposter. I never thought they gave me the green belt to be nice to me but I did think it might be respect for my determination more than my abilities.
These days though even I’m a beginner when it comes to rolling I feel I’ve got green belt skills when it comes to lots of the techniques.
I’m working my way through the brown belt review with no expectation of testing. It’s also so huge, the list of techniques, that there’s no point in even trying to memorize them. Just relax and learn.