I’m an idealist. But I strongly suspect the egalitarian world of which I’d dreamed is not the world we’re getting. I wanted a world in which young women got an equal share of the body comfort I’ve observed in the men of my generation. Instead I fear we are getting a world in which we’re levelling down. It’s more equal in some ways but that’s because young men are facing pressures to conform to standards of body normativity and are feeling the kind of shame I’d thought mostly belonged to young women.
My first taste of this came when my own sons were very young. I had started swimming with the UWO triathlon club and got to spend time with young men, in their speedos, on the pool deck. They weren’t a happy lot. They worked hard on their bodies and viewed them as works in progress. They all wanted well defined abs. They also all removed lots of body hair, better to display the muscle definition. Gone were the forgiving furry male bellies of my generation. And don’t get me started on hairless backs. My point here is that the young men’s attitudes to very fit athletic bodies was much closer to that of the women I know, all of ages, than it was to my generation of men.
I started thinking about men’s bodies and our odd attitudes towards them when the following story came across my newsfeed dozens of times, Asymmetric Man-Thongs Are The Most Insane Thing A Man Can Wear This Summer. Follow the link for photo gallery and product reviews.
But the thing is that almost everyone who shared the link did so with disapproving commentary, usually with some snarky comment about “who wants to see that?”
Then “maybe if they’re young and fit.” Then story after story about some old, fat guy who happily parades around the beach or pool in their Speedo. “You can’t unsee that.” Or, “it burns, it burns.”
I hear this from women who I know are sensitive to criticism of women’s bodies. They would speak up if someone said that about an older woman in a bikini. What is it about men’s bodies that makes some people so uncomfortable? Is it so wrong to like a diverse range of male bodies?
And what is it with those knee length baggy swim shorts that lots of men of all ages wear? I miss Australia where men wear “budgie smugglers” (as they say) and New Zealand where men wear short shorts.
And you know what? I love those old fat wrinkly guys in their speedos. Why? I feel completely free to wear my bikini. If they can do it, so can I.
My least favourite expression comes from men themselves. “Who wants to see some guy’s junk?” Stop calling it “junk.” Please.
13 thoughts on “Men: It isn’t junk, Women: Stop saying you don’t need to see that”
Finally someone said what I was thinking. Thank you.
It was so good to read this after spending a day at Venice Beach!
Great post! I have been thinking a lot about male body shaming recently. It’s a rich topic!
Here’s an ad (containing a lot of white man swagger to be sure) but is in the “no shame here” line: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygeWsoYYMuQ
Thanks. Loved the ad, made me smile.
Thanks–so true. If men have to feel weird about their bodies too, it only reinforces that lens for women.
I want to see an end to body-shaming. Period. Doesn’t matter if it’s women, men, children, elderly, and everything in between. Down with body-shaming. Let’s hear it for body appreciation.
I think the clothing item looks uncomfortable, but whatever makes them happy! I think that as long as people are being decent toward children (ie: not exposing themselves in an inappropriate way), show what you want and be happy with who you are inside and out.
I am not sure why people get so weird about it… and you are completely right about the double-standard about body image. Those who would frown on making comments on women’s bodies seem to feel free to judge men’s. It is indeed very odd. Body image is a tense topic that both genders struggle with, and it makes me sad that comments like those you cited are making this obsession even more valid. :/ Just out of curiosity, did you ever have any chats with your sons during their body obsessions? I went through the same phase myself, and my parents eventually made me see the light a little. I was more obsessed and harder on myself than my sisters, by a long shot. THere is indeed some hardcore societal body pressure facing young males, that maybe did not occur back in the day. it is interesting.
Thank you for saying what I’ve been thinking for years I love seeing men in speedos and real shorts
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