I’m not against all things beauty enhancing. Obviously.
I try very hard to be a You Do You person. Things that bring you joy, bring you joy. They don’t have to affect me.
I don’t abstain entirely from beauty rituals myself. I still get colour highlights to brighten up my gray hair. I look forward to the day when it’s bright and white like my mother’s. For now, I’m brightening it at the salon every couple of months.
But something about cosmetic surgery makes me queasy, aside from the obvious– needles in one’s face. I don’t like how the widespread use of it literally erases women’s aging. It also makes it harder to opt out.
I’m a hardcore resister in this area. I don’t have a facial routine. I wash my face, yes, and I use moisturizer and sunscreen, but that’s it. I barely wear makeup. I have younger women friends. They are going all in on this stuff. They seem to be starting earlier and earlier. It seems harder to resist the next thing once you do one thing. I think going to a place to get Botox means you’re likely to be upsold on the next thing. Also once you fix one thing, other areas of deficiency are more noticeable. I think it’s easier to resist the lot of it, than the next step once you’ve started.
Remember our abstain or moderate conversations? Different subject, but I suspect, for me, abstaining is easier.
Anyway, anyway,. It’s complicated, I know. Mostly I don’t think much about my aging face. I saw a dermatologist a few years ago about spots on my face. She was thrilled to announce that they’re not cancer. I just seem to be good at growing age spots. Okay fine.
Why am I even writing about this?
My walk home in Toronto on research leave makes it harder to ignore. I love that with my new knees I can walk miles and miles. I love walking in big cities, but the downside of urban walking through our gentrifying neighbourhood?
So much storefront normative femininity. So many studios all devoted to producing and maintaining certain kinds of feminine bodies. Waxing, fillers, nails, extensions, blow outs, eyebrow bars….it feels endless. And then there’s the pilates and yoga and spin studios.
And yes the Botox ads.
Keep your resting bitch face looking pretty….get Botox!
Diamonds were once a girl’s best friend. Then BOTOX happened.
I might find a different route to walk.
Sam, I’m so with you. On the doing things to my hair, and not to my face. And increasingly, lately, I’ve noticed myself wavering. Oh maybe just a bit of Botox, I’ll think. Then I remind myself of female solidarity and also that it’s too late anyhow, or even just prioritization of spending. And I realize that a lot of that is because these kinds of posters are so ubiquitous, it feels like a routine thing now, like brushing my teeth (which, by the way, my dentist advertises botox in her office, in view as she prods at my gums and scrapes my teeth, ugh).
It also seems harder to stop doing somehow. I’m not sure why. Like I occasionally let my hair get more grey to see what it’s like and then later go back and get highlights. But Botox feels like if you stop it, the wrinkles you get while stopped, are permanent.
Those ads actually sort of made me laugh. Sort of. The thing is, I always looked younger than I was. A guy once came to the door & asked to speak to my mother. I was 28, had 2 kids. So maybe that has made the signs of age more welcome. And being strong and active, I get extra credit when people see my 73 year old self doing push-ups, or running, or riding my bike up a steep hill.
I do worry about the amount of time & money women are expected to spend on their appearance. If someone loves her style & enjoys working on it, great. But if someone else feels obligated to follow those ads, no.