Hey Team,
Years ago, during a time when my work was particularly tangly, I had a few sessions with a coach who was helping me prioritize and organize my tasks for a variety of projects. During one of our sessions, we worked together to establish a task list for the next week and we planned to meet on the Friday to assess how things had gone.
Alas, I ended up with a terrible cold and spend most of the following week in bed. When Friday came, I considered cancelling the session because I (foolishly) was embarrassed by how little I had gotten done but I went ahead with the meeting and immediately confessed that I hadn’t done much on my list because I had been sick.
I was expecting her to respond like so many teachers, professors, and bosses had in the past, with a kind of ‘forgiveness’ tinged with the implication that I had actually been slacking off, that I hadn’t really been that sick. Instead though, she responded with the kindest and most sensible question possible:
“Christine, since you were too sick to do the items on your list, why didn’t you change your list?”
This was a revelation.
I didn’t have to feel bad about not being able to work because I was sick. I didn’t have to carry the thought that I *should* (you know I hate that word) work despite being too sick to sit up.
The list could change!
I could rest.
After all, this was *my* list.
It didn’t exist independently, I wasn’t subject to its demands.
My list was supposed to support *me*, it wasn’t supposed to cause me trouble.
My plans were not the boss of me!
Needless to say, I have reminded myself of that fact over and over again in the years since.
One of those times was last week.
After a couple of really busy weeks organizing and running an arts festival, last week was supposed to revolve around two things 1) ordinary, routine tasks that had fallen by the wayside in the festival madness 2) adding some new aspects to my exercise plans for October.
Instead, I woke up on Tuesday to find that my back was protesting. I was in a lot of discomfort and everything I did was at least twice as hard as it usually was and nothing I did seemed to help. Things would get better for a little while and then the muscles would get cranky again.
Luckily, this time my brain required no coaxing to change my list – I just started jettisoning things that could wait and I was very strategic about what tasks I would choose to grit my teeth and push through on.
And since I couldn’t take up my initial plans for additional exercise, I decided to respond to what my body needed in the moment and did extra stretches/resting poses. I would have also been comfortable with dropping the plans entirely for a few days but the pre-existing plan helped me to do more of something that would be good for me overall.
I could have viewed last week in terms of failure – I did not do what I set out to do.
Instead, I chose to see it as a success – I was very successful at reorganizing my plans (and my to do list) so I could get the rest I needed.
Being easy on myself, reorganizing my lists, and changing my plans from vigorous exercises to restful ones made a huge difference in my week, my health, and my peace of mine.
So, Team, I’m wondering if you can do the same for yourself today (or this week, or whenever.)
Can you remind yourself that your lists, your plans, your exercise schedules, are all there to serve *you*, not the other way around?
Can you find ways to get what you need at the moment – whether that is more movement, more rest, more focused time, or more time for your mind to wander?
Yeah, I know that this is all hard to do amidst the pressures of our own expectations (not to mention the societal pressures we live with) but it’s worth a try.
Here’s your gold star for your efforts to remember that you are in charge of your plans, they are not the boss of you.
I wish you ease. 💚
