I’ve had a lot of stress this year. More than I care to handle, to be honest, so I’ve been taking steps to manage it, so I can reduce the negative effects it can have on my health.
There’s lots written about stress. It can cause anxiety and/or depression, raise your blood pressure, affect your sleep, and alter your eating habits and physical activity.
One of my daily newsletters shared an article from NPR on how to manage stress from a skills development point of view. I’ve always been interested in the concept of resilience, where people can manage the impact and recover from stressful events.
Turns out you can learn and apply simple skills to manage stress. One researcher, in particular, has been focusing on eight key skills we can learn to change our relationship with stress and minimize its negative effects on our health.
According to Judith Moskowitz, these skills are focused on cultivating positive emotions which help us deal better with daily stress: “Even when they’re going through hardship, people still want to talk about positive things, like seeing a lovely sunset or sharing a meal with a friend. And the people who notice more of these bright spots tend to cope better.”
This doesn’t mean you get to be all Pollyanna about life instead of Debbie Downer. It means you can create a toolbox that will help you smooth out the little annoyances that get in the way of moving forward effectively.
1. Positive events
It’s easy to wallow in the negative. Look for the good things. It could be a perfect fluffy cloud, the best cup of tea, or the first red leaf of fall. Take time to notice, to observe, to feel the small pleasures.
2. Savoring
Make the moment last. Remember that nice meal, the great chat with a friend, or the birthday party you went to last month. Re-experience positive feelings through photos, mementoes or memories, or amplify them by journaling for later enjoyment.
3. Gratitude
Several of my friends post three good things as a quick gratitude note. Feeling grateful not only gives you a good boost, it could extend your life. Ask yourself: what brought joy to your day? It doesn’t have to be big; I was really happy I got to sleep in two days in a row last weekend.
4. Daily mindfulness
Between work and family, personal relationships and our community commitments, we are always thinking, planning, worrying, and anticipating. Taking ten minutes in the morning, afternoon and evening to practice daily mindfulness gives us a chance to calm the buzz our busy thoughts impose on our brains. Many people find a series of calming breaths to be helpful as a way to slow things down and remove the pressure of rushing.
5. Positive reappraisal
Reframing something unfortunate or unexpected as an opportunity or a positive outcome helps you switch to a more positive mindset. Ask yourself: is there a silver lining here? During the pandemic, we all learned to pivot, and that’s a really useful skill when life gets in the way of our plans.
6. Self-compassion
One of my favourite viral videos is a little girl snowboarding. As she negotiates some curves and bumps, she tells herself she might fall, or she might not, and that’s okay. We can often be our own worst enemies; negative self-talk is a big part of that. Be kind to yourself. Remember those good things we talked about earlier? Now is the time to take those out and be reminded of the good things you bring to life.
7. Personal strengths
Another way to avoid the trap of negative self-talk is to highlight your strengths. Ask yourself what are you good at? Think about a time your good listening skills paid off or when your attention to detail avoided a bigger problem from developing. Remembering achievements both big and small is a good way to bring positivity to your daily life.
8. Attainable goals
When I was a kid, the phrase, “don’t bite off more than you can chew,” puzzled me. As a grown up, I know it means recognizing your strengths, managing your limits and setting reasonable goals. Smaller steps lead to big gains; steady progress maintains momentum.
How about you? What skills do you have now and what skills would you like to practice for the future? Let us know in the comments!
MarthaFitat55 lives, works and trains on the East Coast of Canada.
What a great set of thoughts! When my kids were young, I drive to work. Having the flexibility to be able to hurry home made it easier for me to leave in the morning. One day, the traffic was really bad. My shoulders crept up towards my ears; my face hardened. The, suddenly, it occurred to me: this is almost the only time I have to myself these days. I get to choose the radio station. I decide what to think about. My kids are long since out on their own, but I never forgot the lesson. Traffic? Like so many other things: if stress can’t help, why let it in? I don’t always succeed in evicting the stress, but usually it works very well.