Are you feeling it? Judging by the social media comments I find as I doomscroll, I’m pretty sure it’s not just me.
Other things are contributing too: trying to organize a big event at the other end of the province in a few weeks; navigating insurance after my car was hit while sitting in my driveway; insomnia brought on by all of the above…
I’m trying to use all my tricks: lists, reminders on my phone, the Pomodoro app. Aiming to do five things (or even one), no matter how small to break myself out of the frozen feeling. I even took my laptop to the pool so I could do paperwork while on my break.
Eventually I was able to do a thing, which led to a few more things, so hopefully I’m getting myself back on track. But I think this will be a long process because so much of what I am dealing with requires what some people call executive decision-making. My brain is too tired to brain right now.
Yesterday I had a profound revelation about keeping going. There was a drop-in student at my dance class. She didn’t know the work, but she clearly knew how to dance. She was an honest-to-goodness ballerina, or had been at some point in the not-too-distant past. The rest of us watched in awe.
After class, our teacher said something about her being there just to move her body and be part of the group. She wasn’t performing before a critical audience. She wasn’t setting a class and training students. She was just “there”.
Just being “there”. How lovely. I need to remember to move my body in ways that give me joy, and let go of all those things I’m trying to manage – if only for a few minutes.
