Curling Rocks (Guest Post)

by Karen (Kéké) Houle

Here are some things to really, really love about curling:

1. It’s ridiculously fun. I laugh until I almost pee, at least 4 times a game. A game is under 2 hours, so that’s a belly laugh / half hour. While sporting! Pretty good, hey?
2. For a sport, it’s not very expensive. When I was a kid, our extremely modest-single income family of 5 meant we could only do some sports, and only up until a certain $$. For instance, I was actually a very promising figure skater. But my parents pulled me out of it when I got to the level where, to go further, I needed competitive skates and private lessons and (!) a twirly dress. And then, myself, as a graduate student + single, sole-support parent of twins, who did not own a car, all sports were out of our reach, financially. The only sports my kids were able to do were the ones through their school. Thank goodness! As an adult, I learned how to play golf and hockey (there was no hockey when I was a girl. See note about figure skating). But lordy! The fees for a round, and the fees for joining a league, let alone all the equipment, are very prohibitive. And that is for someone whose body is not growing a full new size every year (well, trying not to). I cannot imagine how parents of modest income are able to put their kids into most sports, and to continue to support them if they are talented. Curling, on the other hand, is pretty darned affordable. You really don’t need much equipment, and in fact, most clubs have brooms and shoes you can borrow for a game here and there. 
3. When I’m playing a game, and I look around me, I see every single body shape, size, age. Very big women and very small men. Anything goes! (I often think of the work of Sam Brennan on this point). There are teams made up of a 16 year old, a 35 year old, a 66 year old and a 92 year old. I think when I first played, in Cochrane, I was in high school. My women’s “Wednesday Night Team” was exactly like that! There are smart adaptations that keep you in the game, even if your knees or hips are blown out. 
4. You can play very competitively when you are very pregnant. (Um…Pregnancy can really get in the way of life. Not with curling…) What other sports are like this? 
5. I am a very, very mediocre curler. And proud of that. That is also something I love about the game. You can be crappy, mediocre or Monsieur Brad Gushue or Madame Ice-in-her-Veins Rachel Homan, and still make a shot or miss a shot. Curling just has a pretty sweet spot of skill-luck built into it. That is super great for keeping people in the game (I remember trying to play soccer. Once. I am a very very not-good soccer player… the ball almost never came to me. I was cold and lonely and miserable. When it did, I flubbed it. Rather than everyone laughing in a friendly way, and me going back to play the next week, I had that awful awful shame-y feeling that so many kids and then adults have had, in sport. CRAP! Come curl! You can undo that shittiness, friends!)
6. So: Last night, I had the most hilariously over-the-top Scotties-Level-Game of my life. I made a QUADRUBLE-RAISE take-out, and stuck the button. I then made a TRIPLE-RAISE take-out, and stuck the button. Then I made a double take-out and stayed in the house. Um, for those of you who curl, you know how wild that is. Basically unheard of. Maybe ONE of those shots wins your team the pennant. Not 3 of them! It would be like hitting 4 walk-off home runs with bases loaded, in a single game! Like hitting 16, 3-pointers in a single game (take that, Klay Thompson!). Like scoring 10 goals in a soccer match (hello Mr. Messi! hello Ms. Sinclair!!) Like making 5 very far-running touchdowns (okay, you caught me, I know nothing about football except that that popular singer now dates a football guy. Okay you caught me, I know nothing about Taylor Swift, either). The point is not to brag. (Though I feel like I am within my rights to brag, lol). The point is that there is something about this game, this sport, that is completely unlike others. You can’t just be a mediocre gymnast or an average figure-skater and then, one night, because you are wearing the right sox, you do 4 triple lutz-es. You can’t. You just cannot. But with curling you can. It’s a lovely magical mystery that made everyone laugh their heads off last night, me included. (Yes, I’m going to buy a lottery ticket today)
7. I met my wunderbar life-partner Rob, there. We played 2 or 3 games against one another the first season we both joined independently…that was almost 16 years ago. We got to know each other casually but meaningfully, socially, without being in a drinky-bar or under the pressure that comes with on-line dating. Curling is so dorky, like an old timey square dance, or a Friday night Euchre club — you really do “mix” with everyone. Rob is almost 20 years younger than me, and can’t spell his way out of a paper bag. I’m almost 20 years older than him and wildly over-educated. Those facts alone would have told our “dating algorithms” that we were not “matchable.” You know what? We are very well matched. Sometimes you really need to be in old-timey scrambler social situations to meet new people, people in totally different lines of work, in totally different income brackets, etc… There is a lovely etiquette to the game, regardless of the level of competition (shake hands and introduce yourselves beforehand, and say: “Good Curling!”… and then after, the 8 of you sit around a round table and chat for a bit. Or just listen to convos about something other than what you spend most of your time thinking and talking about. This is so very not a “shop-talk” space.  (A side bar: I think I’m quasi-responsible for getting at least 4 other couples, coupled, on account of urging to curl!) People: as we all know from experience and from stats:  loneliness is prevalent and it is a killer disease. Curling clubs (even if you are not curling!) are places you can go that are warm, busy, friendly and are not trying to sell you something you don’t need. I wish Eleanor Rigby had had a curling club nearby….
8. I admit: it is still a very white and cis-g game, and pretty straight straight, but not totally. What I can see, though, is that it is a social space & a deeply open social game that can and will become more diverse, very easily and very happily, for all! In fact, the Guelph Curling Club just renovated and installed all-gender single-stall accessible washrooms on the main floor. I clapped!! I was NOT expecting that, there. And you know what? The curling people are such a multitude that an accepting, inclusive attitude is the norm.

Seriously. It’s so good.

Bio : Former professor of Philosophy at the U of G, currently full-time social-environmental activist (artofsoil.ca). And curler.