Back when I was in sixth grade, I had a babysitting job one weekend but started to feel sick so I called my mom. She took over from me while I went home and slept – for over 24 hours. Turns out I wasn’t sick at all, just exhausted. It happened every few years after that for my entire adult life. Did I learn from this? No, I did not.
But maybe I’m finally starting to absorb the lessons.
Last weekend I went camping with friends and barely left our little area. I washed lots of dishes and helped with meals, but mostly I sat around the fire and puttered while talking to people I love spending time with. I came home feeling mentally refreshed and not too physically tired.
This week, I’m ordering a “cottage”, more of a pre-fab shed for my lakeside property. I have owned the land for many years but didn’t go there at all for the first 15 because it was too much effort. More recently, I got myself set up so most of my camping gear stays there and I have a tent already up.
There’s still a fair bit of work involved in final set-up and take-down each visit, plus the worry about who will care for my cats while I’m away. Hence the cottage, where I can unlock the door and have a bed ready to go, and the cats can come with me.
In between those two events, I spent a weekend reading books and magazines, skipping a swim, not riding my bike, and reaching a level of rest that I actually felt the desire to do some house cleaning, a job I loathe (but I do it, to be clear).
Why don’t I do this more often? I have no idea. Work has been a giant constraint, especially as I pushed myself to be a physically active role model for my two kids. Plus I needed the intellectual stimulation of my hobbies.
I suspect I fell into the whole supermom fallacy, wanting to believe that I could have a fulfilling career, raise perfect kids, have a beautiful home, and look fabulous while doing it all. That belief started back in elementary school, when I was anxious to make friends and excel at all the things, while changing schools every couple of years.
Even in retirement, it’s hard to let go of all the activities. I track everything: workouts, chores, craft and research projects, blog posts written, recipes tried.
I have a goal of reading 52 magazines and 12 books this year. I’m well behind schedule, but my pile of back issues is starting to look a little more manageable after last weekend.
But genuinely taking a day off to do nothing in particular, and not worrying about whether I’m ticking off some box on a mental checklist? That is going to take a little more effort. Or less effort? I’m not sure how to describe working at doing nothing. All I know is that I need to work on building rest into my routine
