I don’t know about you but when I am working on a project or developing a new habit – expanding my life in some way- one part of my brain is always looking ahead.
That part of my brain is always trying to figure out if I am doing enough today, if I will be able to do the same tomorrow, if this is enough to be doing, if my challenges today are a sign that I shouldn’t be doing this at all, should I even bother with today’s plans…you get the idea.
It’s no fun, it’s hard on the brain, and it keeps me from focusing on what I’m doing.
I know that this is partially an ADHD thing but I know that neurotypical people do it, too. I suspect it is one of those thinking habits that everyone has but people with ADHD just do more often or with more intensity.
We want to keep our focus on what we can do today, the time and energy we have available and the tasks we can do to bring ourselves closer to our goals.
Sure, we will want to know the general direction we are heading (our goals) but we can’t get there all at once, we have to do it one day, one task, at a time. Getting distracted from today’s tasks because we are worried about the details of tomorrow doesn’t help us get where we want to go.
If this happens to you and it tosses you into the whole self-doubt, questioning your plan, seconding-guessing yourself spiral, then I have some advice for you:
STOP IT!
I’m kidding, I know it’s not that easy to stop those kind of spirals.
But I also know that noticing that your brain is going off on that tangent is the first step in learning how to reduce/avoid them.
I haven’t completely solved this for myself – and I probably never will – but here’s what helps me:
- Notice that I am going off on the ‘What about tomorrow?’ tangent
- Say – usually aloud – ‘Thanks for the reminder, brain, but I’m just going to do (insert task here) today and worry about the big picture later.’
- If the tangent persists, I write about it. Something about the writing process lets the ‘protection’ part of my brain know I am taking its concerns seriously.
- Repeat as needed.
My approach isn’t the the only way to handle the challenges of being distracted by ‘What if?’ so please do whatever works for you but I do think you will need to start by noticing that it is happening.
Noticing what is going on lets you choose to respond with self-kindness and self-compassion instead of dropping into self-doubt and frustration.
And I really want you to have that kind of ease as you make your way toward the expansion you are seeking for yourself.
Here’s today’s gold star for your efforts – whether you are noticing that you are distracted or whether you have been focused the whole time.
And if you are still in thinking mode, this gold star is for your efforts to move a little closer to your decisions.
