So, Team, now that you have spent at least 13 days at least considering your goals and habits, I’m wondering what you actually want from them.
Sure, I get that you have probably decided that you want to meditate more or take longer walks or do those rehab exercises for your hip but are those things what you actually want?
I mean, meditating for its own sake is great but you are probably actually looking for greater calm.
And your longer walks are probably about having a longer break, about strengthening your heart, or about being able to easily walk to your chosen destination.
Rehabbing your hip is probably about being able to move without pain or being able to do things that you used to be able to do.
Figuring out the plan, the idea, the emotion behind the tasks you have taken on is a really helpful thing to do. *
Knowing what you really want helps you to work through the tricky bits of habit-building. If you really don’t want to head out for a rainy walk, reminding yourself that each rainy walk brings you a little closer to being able to walk to the bookstore on a sunny afternoon in June might be just enough of a push to get you outside.
Alternatively, knowing what you really want also helps you change the details of the plan as needed. If you have a bad cold and you can’t follow your usual meditative breathing plan, recognizing that your goal is about peace of mind not just meditation lets you choose to listen to peaceful music or do some colouring for your practice until you feel better.
And, personally, knowing what I actually want helps my plans feel possible.
When I consider starting a new habit or goal, my ADHD brain immediately tries to put the brakes on. “If you start that upper body strength training program, you are going to have to fit that into your schedule for the rest of your life. Ugh, another boring routine.” and then it will start to churn up reasons why I don’t really have time or energy for that kind of thing.
And to make matters worse, most of that churning will be practically subconscious so I am not really aware of the foolishness of the reasons my brain is inventing, I’m just getting a bad feeling about the project as a whole.
If I figure out what I really want – to be able to easily lift things over my head and to avoid a certain kind of tension headaches – those things feel beneficial and they don’t feel like I am committing to just another routine that will go on forever.
(Yes, I get that the practice will be very much the same and that maintaining strength will involve a long-term commitment but thinking of it in terms of what I really want feels different to me. That difference helps me get started and keep going with things.)
So Team, if you feel like you need a little extra motivation some days or if you find that thinking in the long-term is hard on your brain, maybe giving some thought to what you really want from your new habit will make a difference for you, too.
Whether you are figuring things out, reframing your goals, or just forging ahead, here is your gold star for your efforts today.
Be kind to yourself, pretty please.
*Note: If you have taken on a challenge of reaching certain distance or developing a certain skill just because you like challenges, that’s totally cool, too. Forge ahead!
