It’s over. There, I said it.
You might call me selfish. That after more than eight years together almost every day, I would move on so easily to find new love elsewhere. That I would leave you when you’re falling apart – when perhaps you need me the most. But I just can’t do it any more. And did we really know what we were doing committing to each other eight years ago? We were both so different then.
So I guess I am selfish. But I’d like to think that this breakup is better for you too. That maybe we were both holding each other back by not supporting each other properly. I know there were times over the past few years when you needed attention and I was busy doing other things, unfairly expecting you to be there for me regardless. After the car accident we were in, I forgot that you might have needs as well, because I was so focused on healing. So it was probably my fault too that I just expected you to be able to pick up where we left off once I was back on my feet.
But today was such a different day without you. And a better day. I’d gotten so used to your scenes, your little tantrums, that I’d forgotten there could be a better life. Did you know that when we met my dad the other week, he privately told me it might be time to move on? After you went inside, he said that he’d heard you coming all the way down the block. Did you even know you were making so much noise?
So today I was with with someone else, and we spent much of the time in peaceful, companionable silence. It was easy. I’d almost forgotten how easy things could be, and how smooth. Boring, you might say. But after the emotional roller coaster of our relationship, maybe boring isn’t such a bad thing. And no, before you remind me that things won’t be perfect with anybody, let me just say that I realise that. I know that there will still be hard work, and some moments where I will be let down. Maybe even let down hard.
But now I have a taste of what life is like with a partner that’s strong enough to support me. And now that I know, I don’t think I can go back to you ever again. It’s not that I regret our time together. Just that you’re no longer the one I need. I’m sorry.
Goodbye, old Giant. Goodbye.
And hello, Rocky Mountain!