Category: fun

aging · Book Reviews · fun · health · motivation

All fired up by Caroline Paul’s ‘Tough Broad’

Christine Hennebury4 Comments

In case you can’t tell by the title of this post – I LOVED THIS BOOK!

I confess, though, when I first got an email offering me a review copy of Tough Broad, I thought it had been sent to me by mistake.

I mean, I can be a pretty tough broad but the book’s tagline ‘From Boogie Boarding to Wing Walking – How Outdoor Adventure Improves Our Lives as We Age’ did not seem to be relevant to me at all.

I like being outdoors but I don’t consider myself to be particularly physically adventurous.

Is that a weird thing for a martial artist to say? Maybe. But TKD is just part of my routine now so it doesn’t register as requiring much adventurous spirit at this point.

When I thought about it, though, I realized that I was probably just the right person to read it for the blog. I’m not adventure-seeking but I’m not totally averse to trying new things and maybe this book would help me consider being a little more adventurous.

a photo of the book Tough Broad and a gold star ornament resting on a white desktop
Gold star for Caroline Paul and Tough Broad! Image description: a photo of the book Tough Broad leaning against my monitor stand. There is a metal gold star ornament on the white desk in front of the book and the word Fun can be seen on a small piece of paper to the left of the book. The book’s cover features the title, the author’s name (Caroline Paul) and the tagline ‘From Boogie Boarding to Wing Walking – How Outdoor Adventure Improves Our Lives as We Age’ as well as a photo of a person in a harness standing atop the wing of a small plane.

That being said, I was expecting to enjoy the book but to have to dig to find connections to my own life. I assumed that the women Paul profiled would be VERY different from me, inspiring as all hell, sure, but they would probably be lifelong adventurers, wired for being outdoors and for staring danger in the face.

Instead, Paul’s excellent writing offered me instant connections, showing me a range of women who were adventuring at their own level and facing challenges in very relatable ways. Sometimes she’s introducing her readers to women just like them, making adventures seem like something they could start right away and other times she is showing those adventures as just out of reach right now – but definitely possible with some focused effort.*

And Tough Broad is not just a series of examples of inspiring, adventurous broads. Paul weaves key elements of research on aging into each section, making herself and the various adventurers examples of the research results in action. It’s much easier to understand how the value of play factors into the aging process when you’re reading about a 97 year old boogie boarder than when you’re just thinking about it in the abstract.

I took over 16 pages of notes, connected so many dots, and had so many insights while reading this book that I am going to have to write separate posts about different aspects in order to keep my ideas organized. For now, though, let me say that if you think you want to shake up your activities a bit and try something new, Caroline Paul’s Tough Broad is an excellent place to start.

Personally, I’m already considering what more ‘outdoor adventure’ might look like for me right now. I have no plans to become a daredevil but Paul’s book has me fired up to find ways to get outdoors to have even more fun even more often and, as she recommends, to do it completely on my own terms.

*To be clear, she’s not suggesting that we all can or should run out and learn to skydive or do other intense adventures. She clearly recognizes and states that we all have different abilities, capacities, and resources, and that everyone’s adventures will be different. But she IS reminding us that adventuring is not just for the young and she’s inviting people of any age to be open to finding their own adventures.

advice · fitness · fun · goals · habits · motivation · self care

Go Team! 2024: Call it a ritual – it sounds fancier

Christine HenneburyLeave a comment

When I sat down to write this post today, my mind went blank.

I typed ‘Go Team! 2024:’ in the title bar and then realized I didn’t know what to say.

So, I grabbed a small piece of paper and started drawing stars until one of them seemed ‘right’, then I coloured it and decorated the background.

And then I knew what to write about.

When I first started these posts a few years ago, I used to include photos of star decorations in my house (I have a lot!) or photos from online and that worked out fine but it didn’t add anything very much to my daily practice of reaching out with an encouraging post.

So, at some point, I started using star drawings instead (I have a lot!), and then I began drawing stars specifically for each post.

Sometimes I draw stars inspired by the post’s content and sometimes I use the drawing process as a ritual to help me write the post.

Sure, I guess I could say that drawing a star is part of my Go-Team-post-writing routine but calling it a ritual sounds fancier, magical, and more fun to me.

And it does feel more like a ritual than a routine.

It does feel like I am drawing (ha!) something out that I wouldn’t have otherwise been able to access.

And given that I know I can rely on my ritual to help me write, even if my mind is blank at the start, I’m wondering if a ritual would be helpful for your practice as well.

What kind of activities or actions could help you switch from another task to your habit-building task?

What small rituals can make your practice feel more fun or more magical or fancier? (if fanciness is appealing to you)

If you have to bundle up before going on your daily walk, could you consider donning your hat and mitts as a ritual? Could you add something to the process to make it more fun/magical/fancy?

If you plan to do some meditative drawing, could you start by lighting a candle or by laying out your supplies in a certain way or by putting on specific music? Would those changes make it more magical, a little more special? Would they help soften the sense that this is something you *have* to do and bring it closer to something you *want* to do?

Anything that you want/have/plan to do can be enhanced by a ritual, whether you add extra elements to the activity or “just” reconsider how you approach it.

(Putting on your mitts can be just putting on your mitts or it can be a step in the ritual of preparation, depending on how you look at it.)

Is this all silly? Perhaps a little.

But adding a little silly fun can make a big difference and help you shift from thinking about doing something to actually doing it.

And having that ritual, that process, has its own momentum that can ease you forward to the next step without overthinking it.

I’ve often seen trainers advise people to put on their exercise clothes first thing in the morning or right after work so they will be in the ‘gonna exercise’ mindset.

I think the same thing applies to an ritual you attach to your practice. Aside from adding fun, it makes the practice almost inevitable.

Sometimes, it just seems to be easier to start a ritual than to jump into a practice.

And I’m all for anything that makes things easier.

And we don’t have to get precious or prescriptive about our rituals, we all know that we *can* do our practices without doing a ritual.

I could have also come up with a post (a different one, obviously) by making some lists, looking at past posts, using writing prompts, or just typing until something started to make sense but the ritual felt easiest today.

(In my case, it also helps that the drawing is part of the post so my ritual isn’t just about getting me started, it’s also getting me closer to done.)

So, a ritual is really one tool in your toolbox to help keep your practice going. It’s one you can use regularly, when things get challenging, or, if it doesn’t seem useful, you can just leave it to rattle around at the bottom of the box.*

And ritual or no ritual, here is your gold star for your efforts today.

I wish you ease, self-kindness, and peace of mind. 💚

A drawing of a gold star with decorative black lines inside
A photo of a gold star drawing resting on a wooden table. Each section of the star is filled with thin black lines that follow the shape of the section (i.e. the pentagon in the centre contains smaller pentagons, each inside the other, the triangle points have sets of lines that each meet at a point.) The overall effect is kind of like sets of nested triangles that meet at a set of nested pentagons. The background of the drawing is a bunch of small dots and the edge of the paper is trimmed in green.

* In my imagination, your habit building toolbox is one of those red metal toolboxes with the removable tray so the rattling makes sense to me. If you have a more orderly toolbox in mind, feel free to choose a different end for that sentence. 😉

Spooky, Scary Workouts (no, not really!)
fall · fitness · fun

Spooky, Scary Workouts (no, not really!)

Christine HenneburyLeave a comment

Happy Halloween!

To help you celebrate, here are seven Halloween-themed workouts for you to choose from.

Why so many?

It’s like my new favourite T-shirt says ‘Witches Gotta Have Options’

A close up photo of the front of an orange T-shirt that has been place on a flat surface. There are the silhouettes of six brooms of different styles and below the brooms there is black text that reads ‘Witches Gotta Have Options.’​
A close up photo of the front of an orange T-shirt that has been place on a flat surface. There are the silhouettes of six brooms of different styles and below the brooms there is black text that reads ‘Witches Gotta Have Options.’

(If you don’t celebrate Halloween, you might find these fun anyway.)

Bu the way, these videos are NOT about ‘working off your candy’ * they are about maximizing your fun.

So, don’t be scared, just pick whichever one appeals to you and do as much or as little of it as you want.

Here’s a dance workout set to the Addams Family theme from DanceFit. They have a whole playlist of Halloween workouts.

A Halloween workout video with dance choreography set to the Addams Family theme song. The still image is a blonde woman standing on the left side of the image facing to the left with her arms crossed. She’s wearing a black lacy shirt.

Next up, a waking workout to Halloween music from Kyra Pro

A walking workout from Kyra Pro. The still image features the instructor in the center facing forward with her arms held out in front of her in a ‘zombie’ pose. The background is mostly orange with a yellow moon in the centre and black bats all around. The word ‘Halloween’ is written in black at the top.

This is another fun workout from Wheelchair Wellness 4 U . She has a whole Halloween playlist too.

A Zumba dance workout from Wheelchair Wellness 4 U. Still image is the of instructor from the shoulders up, she has long blonde hair and is wearing a tank top that says Zumba in pink letters. The edges of the image are decorated with cartoon Halloween things, spiderwebs and a Haunted House.

And here’s Bride of Plankenspine from Yoga with Adriene – bonus points for a kooky name!

A yoga workout for back pain from Yoga with Adriene. In the still image, she is in yoga clothes doing a side plank and her hair is in ‘bride of Frankenstein’ style – stuck up high on her head with a white streak down one side.

This one is for kids but I like the straightforward set of movements from Pediatric Therapy Essentials

A set of Halloween themed movements from Pediatric Therapy Essentials. still image shows a cartoon image of some kids in costumes (dinosaur, ghost, skeleton, mummy), black cat, and a dog in a ghost costume. There are three cartoon pumpkins in the centre.

Dance Along Gal has a fun seated Chair Yoga Dance workout:

This video from Dance Along Gal is a seated workout to Monster Mash by Bobby Pickett. Still image shows the blonde instructor seated on a chair surrounded with cartoon Halloween images of pumpkins and bats.

Yo-yo’s Halloween Freeze Dance for kids is pretty cool, too.


Halloween Freeze Dance from Yoyo. Still image shows her in front of a Halloween image of a full moon and a spooky house and in the foreground there are a variety of goofy cartoon monsters.

I hope you had fun with these.

Gertie the ghost is offering you this gold star in celebration of your efforts:

A cartoonish drawing of a happy ghost holding a gold star with a speech balling above their head that reads ‘Go you!’​
A cartoonish drawing of a happy ghost holding a gold star with a speech balling above their head that reads ‘Go you!’

*Check out Sam’s post from yesterday about how irritating the ‘work off your candy’ mindset is.

Just For Fun with Christine and Khalee
fitness · fun · self care · walking

Just For Fun with Christine and Khalee

Christine Hennebury2 Comments

I’m in the middle of writing several think-y posts but none of them are quite done yet so, instead I offer this:

While I care deeply about all kinds of important issues, on a day-to-day casual basis, I am known for being strongly in favour of three key things:

I am pro-snack.

I am pro-nap.

And I am pro-fun.

These photos from two recent walks with Khalee fall in the latter category.

Go Team Fun!

A sunset photo of branches of a tree with shadows of a person and a dog. A gap in the tree branches creates the illusion of a short monster behind the dog.
Here we are as shadow creatures. No, nothing is lurking behind Khalee, that’s just a gap in the trees below that looks like a monster with outstretched arms. Image description: a photo of mine and Khalee’s shadows taken as the sun is setting. We’re standing on a sidewalk that is higher than the path below and our shadows are falling onto some trees next to the path. Our shadows are clearing outlined and behind Khalee’s shadow is a gap in the branches that looks like a very short monster with its arms sticking out to either side.
A nighttime photo of a person’s shadow next to a dog on a leash who is also casting a shadow onto the sidewalk ahead.
And here we are as creatures of the night. For the record, we are not actually vampires, it was just too warm to walk her during the day. Image description: a nighttime photo of my shadow, Khalee, and her shadow being cast on the sidewalk ahead of us by a streetlight behind us.
Tourism and e-bikes
advice · cycling · fitness · fun · holiday fitness

Tourism and e-bikes

elan.paulson1 Comment

I’m in Charlottetown, PEI, for a week! With a day to myself I could do a self-guided tour with a rental car, walking, public transit, or e-bike. By my title, I think you know which I chose.

Probably inspired by other FIFI e-bike posts, I rented an e-bike for the first time in hilly, windy Wellington, New Zealand a few years ago. Here in PEI, where it is flat and the weather has been warm, the electronic motor was more of a luxury!

Elan with an e-bike
Elan is on her way. Rental from Rising Tide eBikes in Charlottetown, PEI, which I recommend!

It’s been long enough between rental e-bike day tours that it was good for me to plan ahead and review some self-reminders, which I’ll share:

  • Read some research/reviews on the e-bike rental store first, and read the waivers before you rent.
  • Pack hydration, some money, and a layer, as you would when you’re out on your own bike.
  • Take the time to ask questions about the e-bike. I reminded myself that although I ride this bike wasn’t mine. The store staff want renter safety and they love to answer questions about e-bikes.
  • Find the bell in the store. I yelled “on your left” at people for hours. The staff showed me where the little bell was hiding when I got back.
  • Pay for add-ons that will make your trip comfortable, if affordable. In my vanity, I didn’t want a basket at first, but it turned out to be incredibly convenient.
  • Resist the urge to leave right away for familiarization and to ensure the e-bike works properly. I used the gears and brake in front of the store first before I would need them on my journey.
  • Always helmet. Always lock.
  • Have an idea of where you want to go as well as where you shouldn’t go. There was a fun downtown boardwalk on the map, but e-bikes aren’t allowed on it. There were also some busier streets I was warned about by staff. I stuffed a print map in my sports bra for quick review en route.
  • People can be surprised by the speed of approaching e-bikes. I tried to be extra sure folks knew I was coming.
  • Keep safe. Ride during the day and on recognizable roads. Bring a charged phone. But skip the trip if you are solo and worried about your personal safety.
Bolt trail cordoned off for tree removal
A small detour riding the Island Trail!

It’s always good to follow traffic rules and ride defensively. But compared to my hometown, I noticed here drivers were much more courteous to cyclists. Nearly every driver gave me the right of way, even when it wasn’t my turn. So, be aware of the vibe of your touring area when you e-bike.

Overall, if you have the time the weather is decent, I highly recommend renting an e-bike while traveling and touring! You can go further than on two legs, get some outside time, and make some unexpected discoveries along the way.

Island Walk sign and map
The entire PEI Island Walk trail. Great signage here!

FIFI readers, what would you add to my list? Where in the world do you recommend e-biking?

Night Kayaking in Costumes
fitness · fun · kayaking

Night Kayaking in Costumes

elan.paulson1 Comment

Wonder Woman and a boy of about 11 paddled by on light-bedecked standup boards. “He’s never done this before” Wonder Woman shouted proudly. From their also light-bedecked kayaks, Green Lantern, Poison Ivy, and the Joker cheered.

This was a scene from a free event called “Light Up the Night” kayaking in Stratford, Ontario. Folks meet monthly around 8:30pm to paddle together after decorating their non-motorized water craft with lights. There’s also an optional theme for each outing, including Canada Day, Romantic Evening, and (of course) Superheroes.

It was silly fun to transform this daytime activity into a water-based costume parade of about 40-50 “floats.” I should mention our audience: because we were in town, folks watched and took pictures from the banks of the Avon River as they picnicked or waited for their theatre show.

Participants were instructed to put in before dusk, then paddle together at the same time around a tiny island. So while it was a very leisurely pace, we did end up paddling for quite a while as it got dark. Here is part of my friend’s recorded route.

We were to paddle around the island 3 times, but because we dressed as superheroes and supervillains, we had the strength to do a 4th.

A few of our friends supporting this silliness took pictures from atop the island bridge while we paddled underneath. Afterwards, folks shared their snaps on the group’s Facebook page. Alan Hamberg used a drone to capture in video the paddle as well.

Kayaks and other watercraft on the Avon at Stratford as night falls.
Screen capture of drone footage of light up the night kayaking. The video is available on the FB group.

Overall, this night kayaking event offered outside activity, happy folks, and lots of pretty lights! Next time, my friends and I will likely picnic again before decorating our kayaks, as doing so made the activity into a whole fun evening. We’ll bring bug spray and headlamps for re-packing kayaks in the dark. I may also buy better quality lights and avoid the dollar store glow sticks that ended up glowing in my garbage the next day.

FIFI bloggers: what silly summer fun will you get up to and share about?!

The fun in not winning
fitness · fun · soccer

The fun in not winning

elan.paulson

I know I had said no more posts about the new women’s chill soccer league I’ve been following this year. But recently in our playoffs I was a part of some not-winning fun that I want to tell you about it.

What happened

It was nearly time for my team’s final game of the season, and we were waiting to play while the top two teams finished a shootout after their tie game. Many people looked on as players from each team alternately kicked the ball at the goal while the opposing team’s goalkeeper defended. Watching players remarked around me that shootouts are exciting but stressful. I agreed!

Both teams did a great job, and after the shootout the winning team stayed out in the field to take pictures with a trophy while the other team did not.

Then it was our turn to play. One of our teammates joined our opposition because they were short extra players, so both teams had two substitutions. At the end of our evenly matched game we were tied, just like the game before us.

Players from both teams were out on the pitch after the buzzer went, when someone asked, “Can we just end in a tie and not do the shootout?”

Did we have to go through the stress of a shootout to determine a winner and a loser? What did the team captains have to say? Both captains were okay with it, so then when we asked the ref he said needed to check first. As he trotted over to the other field to consult with the head ref, someone from our team said, “If we just all left the field now, what could they do?”

But we did wait, and it was fine. We two teams left the field at the same time, without a final game shootout, to get our drinks and celebrate a great season together.

What it meant to me

In considering what makes a non-aggressive rec women’s soccer league this past season, I also observed players trying to have more say in the type of game they wanted to play. Change was sometimes hard to make because of established regulations, different expectations, and traditions of past seasons.

I developed much admiration for the league organizer (Cindy) who involved players in some key decisions, the team captains who discussed issues that sometime arose during the season, and the officiants who adjusted their calls for our level of play, even when there were differing views about what aggressive play looked like.

In the end, our teams’ choice not to compete in a shootout embodied what I think this league was meant to be about. It’s will sound corny, but I think it’s still true: when we players decided to leave our final game as a tie, we all ended up winning.

See how the league developed in my post series:

  • Part 1: A new “chill” women’s rec soccer league league?
  • Part 2: What is aggressive play in soccer?
  • Part 3: What did the players decide, and did it happen?
  • Part 4: What did the team captains have to say?
  • Part 5: What did a female league officiant have to say?
advice · fun · habits · health

Christine invites you to play along as Mindful March becomes Active April

Christine Hennebury

Were you following along with the Mindful March calendar from Action for Happiness?

I wrote about it last month and I did have a very mindful March, even though I didn’t do every activity on the calendar. I’m always happy to add more focused moments in my day so every activity I did was bonus.

If you didn’t hear about Mindful March until now, you can do the last two activities today and tomorrow. Today’s activity is “Mentally scan your body and see how it is feeling” and tomorrow, March 31, is “Discover the joy in the simple things in life.” That last one is a tall order for a single day but perhaps you can think of one simple thing you really enjoy and take a moment to do that.

For example, I really love when my tea mug is the perfect temperature for me to hold it in both hands and enjoy the warmth radiating from it. I’m going to take an extra moment or two to enjoy that feeling in the next couple of days.

a photo of a person's hand holding the white handle of a brown mug
Okay, so this isn’t a photo of me holding my mug in both hands but this image gives me the same kind of feeling. I love to sit on my front step in the sunshine and slowly drink a cup of tea – even looking at this photo feels good to me. This particular photo is from May 2019 and this is one of my favourite mugs. Image description: a photo of a small light brown mug with ‘Speak Your Kind’ in gold text on the front. My right fingers are wrapped around the white handle of the mug and my thumb is resting on the top. The mug and my fingers are in focus but in the background is a leafless tree, part of my lawn and driveway, and part of my street.

And, of course, you can always do the Mindful March activities at any time. It’s a good list of small ways to take a breather in your day.

And, of course, the daily tips from Action for Happiness switch up every month so, as Mindful March ends, we move right into Active April. If you click on the link in the previous sentence and scroll down to the bottom of the calendar, you have the option of downloading an ics file of the April calendar or viewing it on Google calendar – you can even add their calendar to your calendar list so you see the daily tips in your own calendar.

Here’s a copy of April’s calendar in case you want to do a little planning before Active April starts.

a multicoloured calendar of tips for being more active in April
Image description: A calendar for April 2023 from the Action for Happiness website that shows a different active tip for each day in April. The calendar squares are different shades of blue and green and around the edges of the calendar there are black and white cartoon drawings of people exercising and there is one drawing of a bunch of smiling fruits and vegetables.

Officiating in the Women’s “Chill” Soccer League (Part 5)
competition · fitness · fun · soccer

Officiating in the Women’s “Chill” Soccer League (Part 5)

elan.paulson2 Comments

I sat down with Kayla Marcoux–a skilled soccer player, coach, and referee–who has officiated some of our Sunday “chill” rec soccer games. Kayla agreed to discuss her views on aggressive soccer and her experience as an officiant in our league. Note that we discussed our own views, which are not those of the BMO Center, Ontario Soccer, EMSA Referee, or Canada Soccer.

EP: Can you tell me a bit about your soccer career?

Kayla with the ball and goalie gloves

KM: I’ve played for 25 or 26 years now. I have played as striker, and I currently play as goalie. I am super passionate about soccer. I’ve also coached for 15 years.

After playing and coaching I figured the next thing to do was start reffing. I knew there weren’t a lot of female refs, and that didn’t sit well with me. Now, my friend and I and maybe one other are the only women refs who officiate in leagues at the BMO Centre.

EP: Can you describe simply–what is aggression in soccer? When I think about what is aggression in soccer, I notice that sometimes more and less skilled players may see the other as being aggressive, for different reasons.

KM: It’s not a simple definition. For me, aggression is done with intent and has a lack of regard for the safety of themselves or the other player(s). It makes perfect sense to me that if players from different levels of skill play together, that the player who has less skill or experience could interpret a higher skilled or experienced player as making an aggressive play or challenge occasionally.

Since we cannot determine someone’s “intent,” we must consider their actions: are they trying to “run through people” or are they using their body to shield the ball and gain possession? Running through someone, kicking at their ankles or shins wildly trying to get the ball are examples of what I consider to be “aggressive.” Shielding a ball or going shoulder to shoulder chasing a ball down to me would constitute normal soccer play and not be deemed aggressive. Just because I see it that way, it doesn’t mean someone with less experience than me will see it that way. Opinions will differ for everyone which is why I find this hard to define.

EP: In a poll of the team captains in our “chill” league, some felt like there were too many calls on rough play. How do you call aggression in our league?

KM: Yeah, that’s interesting. It depends on the league. Every league has different calls. It can be a challenge to adapt to varying degrees and levels of play, especially in a league like yours.

Our role as officiants is to watch the temperature of the game but let play happen. Contact is a grey area, one opinion vs another. We normally watch for 50/50, but because there are so many variables we have to try to abide by the rules.

EP: I am afraid I need you to explain to me what you mean by “50/50.”

KM: 50/50 is two players from opposite teams who each have an equal chance of obtaining possession of the ball. But it’s not easy to judge what is equal because players may be of different speeds, sizes, and skill levels when they challenge or defend their possession.

EP: So you are reffing our games with that 50/50 idea in mind?

Kayla Marcoux at the London Optimist Sports Centre

KM: Yes, but that balance of power can change to 60/40 at any time. And that’s what we are looking for. If a player is defending very well, it might seem like a shift in power but really it’s just skilled play. They know how to move their bodies to their advantage. If a player is getting really frustrated, and their frustration builds up, it can also change how they play. They can start with elbows out or throw their body in the way, and that can lead to a collision. That becomes a safety issue. Body types can affect 50/50 challenges, but skill level and emotions can too. I’m not sure if that answers your question because it’s delicate. There are a lot of variables we are watching out for.

When I was asked to referee for your league for the first time, I was told that your players were really just out to get exercise and have fun, and that you didn’t want competitiveness and aggressive ball challenges. We were told this league was no contact at all. 

And then I reffed several more games, and I found that the teams were all kind of different. We don’t want there to be complaints for players not following the rules, but there should be some flexibility.

EP: Would you play in our “chill” rec league?

KM: No. Players should be classified appropriately for the leagues they play in. Me, I play in Second Division. I know that I don’t have the ability to bring it down. I would be considered an aggressive player in your league. So I’m better off to find people that are playing similar to me.

You can’t control what other players do. The onus is on the player to say to themselves, “Do I belong in this league or not?” If people aren’t getting what they want, there are many other leagues available at the BMO Centre that can allow players to find the level of play they are looking for & comfortable with.

But I did tell my mom about this league. “They are actually chill and very calm,” I told her, “and they’re here just to exercise and have fun.” If she were interested in playing soccer, she should come out to this league to play! 

EP: What do you think of reffing in our league?

KM: I’ve only reffed a handful of games so far. Everyone seems to be having a really good time. I’m on the field, laughing with everyone. I enjoy the games because there’s so much fun. I haven’t really seen any issues.

I like to talk to the players on the field, and have them talk to me because then I can keep an eye out for what they see as too much aggression. Of course, humans are going to make mistakes, but we as referees can respond to requests, so talk to us.

EP: What can refs do to support fun rec leagues like ours?

Kayla officiating a soccer game.

KM: Keep up with training. Stay on top of the IFAB rules and not become complacent. The rules change every year. Put player safety above all else. It’s our number one job.

Bring in referees that are like-minded and that want to officiate games at this level. Give them examples of situations that have happened, explaining what is okay and what is not okay. This can help us help you and your league.

It’s also a good idea to bring the officiants into the conversation. If you tell me what to look for, I’ll adjust my position to make sure I have a better view, and if I have to call something your team isn’t okay with, I’ll call it, no problem. For the most part, we’re all really easy to talk to.

EP: What can our league do to ensure its continued success in future seasons, in your opinion?

KM: A good conversation is easily had before it starts to get a sense of the team’s level of comfort with contact and what contact means to them. Identify what you are not comfortable with, and then bring it to the attention of the referee. If two teams are comfortable with a certain level of contact, then explain it. We want players to have a fun and safe environment but also be heard and feel like the officiant cares. Conversations can bring aggressiveness and animosity down. Even if teams don’t initially agree, they can come to a better understanding if we all talk and share our perspectives.

Maybe as well as make sure everyone else is signed on. Everyone signs something at the beginning of the season that says, this is what we all agree on.

EP: [Joking] Is it this complicated to be a referee for male soccer players in their leagues?

KM: In my experience, women are respectful and appreciative of having a female ref. I’ve had no grief or cattiness in this league at all or in any others.

In my opinion, women are superior players because we just go out and play and get the job done. When I officiate, most of the time everyone is respectful, but if I do get grief it is usually from the men. [Smiles]

Checking in with the Chill Soccer League (Part 4)
competition · fitness · fun · goals · soccer · team sports

Checking in with the Chill Soccer League (Part 4)

elan.paulson1 Comment

We are midway through the season of a new +40 rec soccer league that over 100 women joined because they wanted less aggressive play. As I’ve reported in previous posts, there was an expectation that play would be less rough, but a series of decisions and limitations made it unclear (to me) what mechanisms would actually make that happen.

Has the league met expectations and achieved its goals? I asked the team captains their thoughts in a Facebook group chat they share.

Yes, Less Aggressive Play

Of the eight team captains who were polled, all agreed that the league was either a little or a lot less aggressive than other rec leagues they have played in (Poll 1):

Poll 1 of team captains

According to most team leaders, what has been different from other leagues is the higher frequency of penalty calls (Poll 2).

Some team captains also said they perceived more efforts of teams to be friendly. One or two captains said their teams talk with each other and the opposing teams about aggressive play.

Poll 2 of team captains

I think that team members talking before or during the game about their expectations (rather than just complaining after the game) shows goodwill and is more likely to improve league morale. Because aggressiveness is subjective, it can only help to have a more shared understanding of what aggressive play looks and feels like for each team.

A few captains added in the chat that their teams felt the league was fun. One captain said, 

I think it’s going well, not as crazy aggressive as the other groups and no pressure we are just having fun and being active :)

Interestingly, no one said their own teams admit when they have been too aggressive. I didn’t ask whether it is because they genuinely don’t feel or notice when their play is too rough, or if it’s just not a good strategy for games.

Concerns and Reflections

Apparently rough play has not been fully eliminated: over the last few months, folks have brought forward concerns about a few aggressive players.

As league organizer, Cindy usually addresses concerns with team captains, who in turn speak with their own players. So, the process for dealing with the perception of over-aggressive play seems non-confrontational and a shared responsibility. As Cindy said, “Everyone is contributing to its success. It shows great community!”

While I expected Cindy to deal with these league issues kindly, I did not expect that over half of the captains would say “the refs also call out play that our team does not consider aggressive.” In other words, some feel that refs are making too many calls on aggressive play in this “chill” league.

Why might this be a concern for some teams? It can be difficult to avoid accidental contact on an indoor field. As well, some would say that defending space and moving into the opponent’s space is a normal part of soccer. And, every time a play gets stopped for a penalty, it’s less time to play soccer.

This idea that refs are calling aggression that players don’t agree to made me reflect on my own assumptions. A “rec league” suggests it will be social and fun, but for some women fun means competitive play. Have I been assuming that the only way to have a chill and fun league is to reduce aggression to the point of low or no contact?

I have noted in past posts that aggression is in part in the eye of the beholder. Those with less experience may see those with more soccer experience as aggressive, but the reverse can be true as well. At least the refs seem to be calling roughness due to unchecked skill and roughness due to lack of control.

ReDefining a League

This new rec league was organized by the criteria of age and intolerance for aggressive play, but there may be other ways to ensure safety but also give players what they want to have fun. One captain suggested to me that, instead of aggression level, league divisions could be based on experience or skill level. A beginner league for adult women of all ages could teach about safe play and what is appropriate contact. In such a league, frequent stops for penalties and game explanations might be more welcome.

At the same time, an adult beginner league begs the question of when someone is and no longer is a “beginner.” Sometimes experienced soccer players recruit their friends, and of course they want to play together despite skill level differences. (I’ve gotten better mostly by playing with friends more skilled than me.) It’s tough to make everyone happy.

If the “chill” league continues in another season, the norm for play might stay at low- or no-contact. In this case, how the game is played might need to change—and teams who plan to register in this league will have to be ready for that.

The beauty of sports is that they are what we make of them. According to most team captains, right now most members of this “chill” league seem relatively happy with the game that they have made together.