Hey Team,
Here I am with my latest reminder for us to be kinder to ourselves.
…wait, can I shorten that to ‘my latest re-kinder’? Probably not. That would probably work better aloud.
ANYWAY!
I remember reading a blog post or article years ago (I have not been able to find it since!*) in which the writer described her conversation with another Mom at the playground. They were discussing the challenges of getting supper on the table when you have small kids and the writer was feeling guilty about the easy meals she was serving. The other Mom explained that she generally served (carefully chosen) pre-prepared meals or meals that could be created from pre-prepared elements and things she could quickly put together (a supermarket-cooked chicken paired with a salad, for example) because she had decided that she wasn’t in a elaborate cooking season in her life right now.
That framing of the seasons of her life really stuck with me.
She had found the best solution she could for the realities of this part of her life and had decided to let go of any guilt or weirdness about it.
She was fully aware that things could (and would) change later and that she could/would re-evaluate things at that point.
And I think that framing works just as well for fitness and well-being as it does for meal planning.**
Maybe you are in a season of your life when you can really focus on intense exercise towards a specific goal. That’s great but please don’t get tied up in knots about other things that *don’t* fit into this season – perhaps your season for yin yoga will come later.
Maybe you are in a season where gentle stretching is the only thing you have the capacity for – you can relax into those stretches without feeling like you *should* (ugh! that word!) be doing something else. (Yes, it is hard to let go of that feeling but practice will help.)
Maybe your family commitments limit your time-flexibility right now so you have to do short bursts of exercise when a bit of time opens up, or perhaps you can only meditate for 2 mins in the car before going into your office – those practices still help.
Maybe you can’t sit to write in your journal these days but you can make some voice memos on your phone while you fold your laundry – you’re still getting your thoughts out of your head and giving your brain a break.
Maybe the literal seasons are shaping this season of your life. If it is too cold or too hot to follow the plan you would like to follow, there is probably another way to get the feeling you are looking for without compromising your health and safety.
The point here is that life is complicated enough without giving ourselves extra things to feel bad about.
If you find yourself feeling bad about what you’re doing or not doing for your own well-being right now, it might be a good idea to figure out what season your life is in at the moment and adjust your expectations accordingly.
I know it isn’t easy – it’s not like you can flick a switch to the acceptance setting – but identifying this season of your life could make things a lot easier on your brain.
(This framing really helps my ADHD brain step away from the all-or-nothing default that I get stuck in. I’m not claiming that I always remember to consider life seasons but things are better when I do.)
So, Team, I invite you to give this seasons thing a whirl and take your self-kindness up a notch. Let’s find the kindest, gentlest description of your current season and adjust your expectations and your self-talk accordingly.
You can totally do it. I believe in you. 💚
And here, as always, is your gold star for your efforts to name your season and to be kind to yourself about it.
May you find ease.
Go Team Us!
*I really dislike referencing something and not being able to give the writer credit so if you know the article or post I am referring to, please let me know. Also, just to be transparent, I may be referring to a small part of a longer piece and/or I may have lost the details or other points to the mists of time.
**Have I written about this before? Almost certainly. But if I go hunting for the old post then I will get distracted from this one so I am working from the assumption that if I need a reminder of this framing from time to time then other people probably do, too.