Since a friend lent me the Jan/Feb issue of Canadian Running, I’ve been mulling over some of the insights of one of the issue’s articles, “Goals, Goals, Goals.” I was particularly struck by the essay’s reflections on how to process a missed goal: taking time to mourn it, acknowledging the effort that went in to trying to achieve it, figuring out the lessons learned, and, maybe, letting it go. Citing Sharleen Hoar (mental performance lead at the Canada Sport Institute), Molly Hurford writes, “It’s OK to leave a goal in the past, whether you got it or not.” This may sound like common sense to most folk, but to me, it came as a something of a revelation. Perhaps I knew it, but needed to see it in black and white.
I don’t think of myself as a goal setter, mostly. My adult life has been taken up with work and raising children and maintaining relationships as best I can, and it was only when I turned 50 and started running again after a long break that setting goals (other than work-related deadlines) came into focus. And these goals were pretty straightforward so I didn’t need to think a lot about them: sign up for a race, train for the race, run the race. If injured, rehab and hit return.
Ten years after I signed up for my first 5 km clinic, I find myself at a crossroads. Turning sixty has reminded me that my time on earth is finite, and there is so much that I still want to learn. But setting the goal, “Learn new things!” is vague—so much vaguer than a marathon build. It would be easier, in some ways, to cling to the old goals than to leave space for new ones. These days, I’m trying to resist reaching for quick answers. I’m writing this blog on Mother’s Day, contemplating the questions asked by a New York Times piece that my son sent me, “25 Questions to Bring You Closer to Your Mom.”One of the questions it asks is, “What’s a phrase that has kept you afloat during hard times?” For me, that phrase is, “Do the next right thing.” Right now, the next right thing is walking my dogs, enjoying the spring weather, allowing myself some time to rest. What the next, next right thing will be—time will tell.
