A couple of weeks ago, I had to do a stress test as part of figuring out next steps for my newly-diagnosed heart murmur.
It all seemed very straightforward: wear comfortable clothes and running shoes (or other comfortable shoes). Then walk on a treadmill while someone tracks what your heart does.
Then I started walking. The treadmill was on a slight incline and went faster than I was comfortable with, but I figured out how to adjust my pace and walk almost normally – for three minutes. That’s when the incline got steeper and the treadmill got faster. It happened again at six minutes and at nine. After ten minutes, I called it quits.
I felt like I might have been able to keep going until the next adjustment at twelve minutes, but decided it was dumb to try simply to prove a point to myself. Besides, I don’t run at the best of times and I was certainly going to try running without wearing a bra!
At the same time, I was mad at myself for giving up because I wasn’t going to get an A on this test dammit! I always want to get an A (or an A+). Nothing the tech said before or afterwards could reassure me that it wasn’t that kind of test and I had actually done just fine. A friend pointed out that I need to distinguish between diagnostic and competitive – yup.
I’m now waiting anxiously for my results to be uploaded into the hospital’s patient portal so I can see for myself how it went. Because of course I can’t simply wait until my next appointment with an actual doctor…
