Hey Team,
When it comes to making changes or to adding new things into their lives, my coaching clients often forget to consider how it will affect their personal ecosystem – and while I catch it when they do it, I sometimes don’t notice when I do the same thing.
Now, I don’t mean a literal, scientifically-defined, ecosystem, of course – in this case, an ‘ecosystem’ is kind of a metaphor for all the interlocking parts of our lives.
Because while we know intellectually that home life, family life, personal needs, plans, hobbies, and all the other parts of life are connected and that they all affect one another, in practice, we forget.
We forget that trying to change one aspect of our lives will affect and be affected by everything else we have going on.
And we forget how that complicates things.
We can’t pull time and energy out of the air, it has to come from somewhere.
When we take extra time/energy for a new or expanded practice, something else is going to have to shift to accommodate that.
And, conversely, when our family life or work life or our health takes more time or energy, it is going to affect the time/energy we have available for our practices.
A change anywhere in the ecosystem is going to affect a lot (if not all!) of the other pieces.
There’s nothing wrong with you if a change in one area of your life has repercussions in another. You have a lot of interrelated things to deal with and you have finite energy, finite time, and finite resources.
And acknowledging that and being kind to ourselves about that fact is the only way to deal with the whole thing.
It’s ok to have to shift, alter, reduce, or drop other things in order to add something new to your life.
And, of course, it’s ok to seek support and help in any area of your life so you can add something life-enhancing in another one.
I’m not suggesting this is an easy, one-off process. It make take several tries (and some firm requests) to find a new equilibrium, to reshape your ecosystem to support you in adding new things, but it will be worth the effort.
And you may find that the nature of your current ecosystem will require a very, very slow process for adding anything new and that’s totally ok, too. (Understanding the time and energy you have available is part of managing your expectations.)
Basically, I’m hoping you can be very, very kind to yourself about all aspects of your ecosystem, your current life realities, and give yourself the time and the breathing room to add new things or make changes at a sustainable pace.
So, Team, today I am inviting you to consider your efforts in the context of your ecosystem.
What pressures are you facing that are working for or against your new practices?
What options do you have to adjusting or dealing with those pressures?
What parts of your ecosystem have some flexibility in them that might give you room to grow in another area?
How can you practice self-kindness within your ecosystem and how can you practice it when/if the system is in flux?
Above all, please remember that you are just one human trying to keep this whole system working. Sometimes (often!) things will go wrong, things will be complicated, there will be challenging times. That is not indicative of failure on your part, it’s a sign that something needs to shift or change and the kinder you can be to yourself in the process, the better the results will be.
And here, of course, is a cheerful gold star for your efforts today, whether you are considering your ecosystem or working up the energy to brush your hair, your efforts matter and your hard work counts.
Go Team Us!
