Hey Team,
I know that we are all trying develop more internal motivation and that we generally want to work toward something positive instead of trying to avoid something negative.
BUT
I also know how stubborn *ahem* determined I am and how a little bit of spite can sometimes give me a little extra boost of perseverance just when I needed it.
Now, perhaps you are more enlightened than I am and you have never been fuelled by the determination to show that you *can* do the thing that someone said you couldn’t. If that’s the case, this post may not resonate with you and that’s totally cool – forge ahead with your own plan.
But if, like me, you can recall a handful of times when spite helped you finish a task, dig up some motivation, or tap into some reserved energy, then let’s carry on.
So, here’s the thing, you are adding these practices to your day so you can benefit, right?
You want to enhance or expand your life, you want to be stronger, you want to be calmer, you want to be more reflective, you want to be able to have more fun.
Those are are great reasons to put in the work to make change and, most of the time, those whys will pull you forward.
But, there are other times when you are feeling a bit sluggish or maybe you have temporarily drained that well of motivation.
That’s when you can turn to spite.
That’s the time when you can bring possible detractors to mind, tell them to shut up, and do your practices just to prove them wrong.
The person who rolled their eyes when you mentioned your plans? Do your practice to spite that jerk.
That Instagram ad that brought up bad feelings? Do your practice to spite those marketers.
That gym teacher in grade 7 who told you would never be strong? Do your reps to spite them.
All of the people who insist that there is only one way to be fit or healthy or calm? Do your practice your way in your own time in sheer defiance of their ridiculousness.
Ok, so the actual people in this list will probably never see your practices or fee your spite but that doesn’t matter a bit.
This energy-building, practice-fuelling spite isn’t really about them (we don’t actually need to care what they think!)
It’s about the space they take up in your head, about the doubts, questions, or frustrations their words or actions generated in our minds and how our determination, our spite, can push back against all of that nonsense and let us get on with the things we want to do.
So, it’s not really about proving them wrong, it’s about using spite to turn their negativity into fuel for something that will actually serve us well – our practices.
When all else, activate spite is not about ‘I’ll show them!’ it’s about reclaiming that mental space and filling it with determination to keeping moving toward (and in) the life we want to live.
So, Team, today, I invite you to add spite to your determination toolbox so you have yet another route to keep returning to the practices that you know will lead you where you want to go.
And here are some gold stars for your efforts. Big or small, spite-fuelled or habitual, they all count.
Go Team Us!
