Hey Team,
Ok, so my title makes it sound like I think it is easy to be kind to ourselves but I know first-hand that it is a very challenging thing.
Please know that I am suggesting self-kindness as a guiding principle, as a practice, as something we have to return to over and over again.
We live in a absolute soup of information telling us that we aren’t enough, that every challenge we face is our own fault, and that our only problem is our lack of willpower. All of those messages are absolute garbage but their sheer volume (in noise level and quantity) make them hard to avoid.
But I think that once we notice that those messages have crept into our lives and our plans, the only way to oppose them is by being defiantly kind to ourselves about who we are, about how we are approaching things, and about the lives we want to live.
So, that’s why I am inviting you to add self-kindness to all of your plans and actions for expanding and enhancing your day-to-day lives.
Instead of framing your goals from a ‘gotta fix myself’ perspective, consider framing them from a ‘I wanna feel good’ perspective. (For example: “I’m looking forward to being able to easily lift heavy things.” feels much better than “I hate my weak arms, I have to blast these muscles into shape!”
Instead of judging yourself for past attempts, highlight the benefits of your current approach. (For example: I’ve tried to get better with pushups several times in the past but this time I am working with my brain instead of against it.)
Instead of focusing on how far away your goal is, look back to see how far you have come. (For example: Maybe your plan to run 5K is going very, very slowly but if you compare your current running experiences to how you felt a month ago, you’ll see a positive difference.)
Instead of considering your actions as things you have to do, consider them as things you choose to do or things that you get to do. (For example: “I get to meditate for 10 mins.” feels WAY better to me than “I have to meditate for 10 mins.”)
Sure, these things may not come naturally – we have had lots of training in being hard on ourselves and very little training in self-kindness – but they are worth practicing.
It’s not just about saying ‘nice’ words, it’s about encouraging us to see ourselves differently, a little bit at a time.
We are good people who are doing the best we can with the resources we have and the more positive elements we can bring into our efforts to create the life we want, the better off we will be.
So, today, I invite you to have a look at your goals and to listen to how you talk to yourself about your plans and your actions.
Can you reframe your goals and your self-talk to be a little kinder to yourself? Can you stir some encouraging words in there?
Can you make this project about feeling good, about doing things that serve you well, and about reminding yourself that what you want matters?
Here’s our gold star for our efforts today, no matter what they were and what form they took.
Go Team Us!
