I’m a whole person.
You know it, and I know it, but I wish the damn algorithm would learn it.
It’s clear to me that I am a complex system of interrelated parts – mind and body – but the algorithm on IG and Facebook is working hard to convince me that I am actually a collection of bits and pieces that they are all somehow substandard.
If Instagram is to be believed, I should currently be spending my exercise time trying to deal with these ‘troublespots’:
- ‘Meno belly’ (or to use a different but equally annoying phrase ‘Mom pooch’)
- ‘Bingo wings’ (or bat wings,if you want to get fancy.)
- Double chin (the marketing department for this one needs to put in more effort – this barely implies inadequacy on my part)
I get that the health and fitness industry thrives on trying to make us feel bad about our bodies but this specific piecemeal approach is really giving my eyeballs a workout lately.
In fact, if spot training actually worked, my eyes and eyebrows would display some of the most finely sculpted musculature in all the land.
Sure, my body changed once I had kids and it continues to change as I age and some of these changes have been more welcome than others.
Some I barely notice, some are a bit frustrating, and a few are puzzling, but I’m not going to spend time demonizing the various bits and pieces of my body.
I’m especially annoyed about the idea that I am supposed to be judging how each part looks and then ‘blasting’ it accordingly.
I’m not a decoration, I’m a person trying to live a life here.
And yeah, just like everyone else, I am always navigating the various pressures of how I am ‘supposed’ to be looking, feeling, and acting.
I’m not unaware of social expectations and I am not immune to the pressures involved but I am determined to push back against them whenever I can.
And the idea of reducing my body to a checklist of troublespots makes me feel sick and sad.
Look, I’ve been operating this body for over 50 years now so it would be weird if it hadn’t changed.
If my body was any other type of machine, I’d be advised to take gentle care of its systems and to celebrate its perseverance through 50 years of service.
I want to be paying attention to how my body works and feels and then move in ways that support that function or that feeling.
And I just want to keep being stubbornly obtuse when an industry starts telling me what’s wrong with me.
*****
Now, I get that everyone’s relationships with their bodies can be very complicated.
If you are self-conscious about certain parts of your body and exercises help you have a better relationship with those parts then forge ahead – it’s your body and your brain and you have the most experience navigating them both.
And I understand that I have a lot of privilege involved in how I relate to my body – I haven’t received a lot of specific attention for it – negatively or positively – so I’m not carrying that mental burden.
But, even if your relationship with your body is very complicated and laden, I really hope you can give yourself a bit of space sometimes.
In fact, I’m wondering if you can open a small window for yourself, just a little ways.
As in, perhaps the next time you see a post that is pressuring you to feel bad about a perfectly normal part of the aging process, could you spend just a few seconds being mad at the industry that is trying to reduce you to a collection of substandard pieces before you start to judge yourself?
Sure, this won’t be an instant process – judging our bodies is something we’ve been taught our whole lives and it can be pretty automatic – but it’s worth trying to find some breathing room in there.
And just like every other fitness or wellness habit, I bet it will get easier and more natural over time.
PS – I was joking about this topic with my 22 year old son the other day and he said that all of those ‘troublespots’ sound like crafting tools a magic user would combine in a role-playing game. “I bring together the bingo wings and meno belly under the double chin and recite the incantation…” I’ve been laughing about it ever since.
