I’m writing this on the heels of losing a dear friend. It is hard to think about how the world will look without her joy, her laughter, and her indomitable spirit. She was the friend you called for an adventure or for a hug. A weekday breakfast meetup or a trip to Scotland to buy yarn – she was up for it.
Our friendship was formed inside and alongside a community of knitter friends. The community has added and subtracted members as the years roll by, but/and the foundation has remained the same. Friendship. Love. Support. Celebration. Commiseration. Caretaking. Adventures. And a whole lotta yarn.
Photo by Anya Chernik on Unsplash
As we have gathered together this week to be with one another in community I am so aware of how my different communities support me. They steady me when I wobble and they celebrate me when I triumph.
I am fortunate to have a few communities that I hold dear. As our little knitting community is rocked by this loss, friends in our respective other communities have joined to steady us. Support. Caretaking. Commiseration. Friendship. Love.
When I think about how deeply ingrained these communities are in my life I often think back to graduate courses on feminist theory and feminist collectives. While there are many ways to define feminism one important way for me is “in community.” When one rises we all rise. When one falters those who can will hold steady.
This is a time of faltering and holding steady. Faltering without my friend while others hold me steady. Using their strength to support others in our community as we all work through individual and collective grief. Those who know me best know that when I am quiet, tucked inward, I am faltering. They know when I say I am “hanging in there” that I am doing anything but. They steady. They hug. They listen.
I hope this post comes across as a celebration of communities; mine, yours, ours. I hope your communities are holding you up, comforting you, singing your praises, or whatever else you need at this moment. If you are reading this and struggling to identify your community please know that FIFI is a community that you are already a member of here on this page. And I hope it goes without saying to hold your people so close because the world out there is shaky and you may just be what is holding them up.
In community.
Amy Smith is a professor of Media & Communication and a communication consultant who lives north of Boston. Her research interests include gender communication and community building. Amy spends her movement time riding the basement bicycle to nowhere, walking her two dogs, and waiting for it to get warm enough for outdoor swimming in New England.