For those who celebrate (and I’m among them), today is Easter Day. This day is all about the power of rebirth and renewal and transformation. Yeah, it’s a very big holiday on the Christian calendar– honestly, bigger than Christmas.
And like Christmas, Easter has been secularized and popularized and capitalized to be a day of sweet tasting gifts; they’re mainly for children, but my sister has already laid in a stock of her favorite color (flavor? does that really apply here?) of marshmallow peeps. Of course, peeps aren’t just for eating around this time of year– they’re also their own art medium. Check out this diorama from a public library contest:
Getting back to the traditional themes– rebirth and renewal– I’ve been giving a lot of thought to both of these lately. Several of us at FIFI have been thinking and writing about habit formation and behavior change this year, and I’m paying closer attention to the ways I’m eating and moving in service of making some shifts that I think will be good for me.
But it’s hard. Oh, how it’s hard. Even for habits that feel pretty ingrained, there are hiccups and interruptions. For example, I’ve been a pretty regular meditator for 3.5 years now. I keep track of my meditations days on my app (Ten Percent Happier, FYI). I relish seeing my streaks of consecutive days build up and appear on the app. And things have been humming lately– as of Tuesday, between 100 and 150 days running. I’ve only done that once before, and was hell-bent on getting to 200 (not a very Buddhist attitude, but hey).
And then I missed my Tuesday meditation. Just totally spaced. Forgot. Blew by the whole day without my usual sitting. In my (unnecessary, even to self) defense, I was sick that day, so was out of my usual routine. But it happened. Or rather didn’t happen.
Now what? Here’s what I first thought:
Begin again. Remember beginner’s mind. All that matters is the now. Streaks are bullsh*t. The only streak you need to care about is the streak of one, which you are in the midst of right now.
These were the thoughts that greeted me on Wednesday when I resumed meditating. Along with these others:
It’s okay. Just shake it off. You’ve got time. You knew it was gonna happen. Now let’s double-down on that meditation and get ‘er done. Every day. No matter what. Need another alarm reminder? Yeah, we can do that.
Actually, no, I didn’t think all of these thoughts. But they did flit by in the course of sitting on Wednesday. Was Wednesday my meditation rebirth day? Should I have done a renewal ceremony to reaffirm my commitment to this practice?
No. Through my experience with meditation, I’m starting to think that it’s less important to me to pay attention to how many days I do X or Y, but better to focus my attention on the times and days I do X or Y. And do that the next time. It’s not about renewal, but instead immersion and attention. What is it like to take this walk on this afternoon, or cook and eat that meal on that evening?
Why am I writing this on Easter? Because I’ve always seen Easter as a celebration of new beginnings. But maybe requiring a new beginning starting… NOW! is not the best way to respond to or celebrate the holiday, and to celebrate the spring season of newness and bloom. We can enjoy the flowers and baby animals and sweets and family meals and Easter hats and services and special meals that come along. And we can know that the next day is another occasion for experiencing and noting focus, inattention, change in our habits, needs, and goals. And adjust, as we do every day.
So today, I wish you all satisfaction, focus and awareness of the richness of your everyday experience of all your habits.
And, in a departure from the usual bunnies and chicks, here’s a rare pink grasshopper, wishing you a happy Easter and spring celebration.
