Hey Team,
Perhaps it is obvious to you but it took me a long time to realize that I don’t have to feel like doing something in order to do it. And, in fact, I have to teach myself this fact over and over again.
My mistaken perception that it is better to do things when I feel like doing them, when I’m excited about them, is partially an ADHD thing – it’s easier to wrangle the necessary focus to do something I’m excited about- but since I know lots of neurotypical people who have the same issue I know it’s not just about how my particular brain is wired.
We all do lots of things every day that we may not feel like doing in the moment – things like brushing our teeth, paying bills, shoveling snow- but we usually don’t give a lot of weight to our feelings about those tasks. They need to be done and (executive function skills issues aside) they get done, no matter how we feel about them.
But when it comes to habit-building, things go a little awry and we often expect to feel like doing the thing. We somehow think that there will be a naturally occurring time in which we’ll jump up and want to get to work on that task.
That can happen sometimes but most of the time we have to do the task when it fits into our schedule, whether or not we feel like doing it.
And, even though it surprises me over and over, doing the task gets it done, no matter how we feel about it.
It’s true:
You don’t have to WANT to exercise in order to exercise.
You don’t have to be craving some meditation in order to meditate.
You can journal even if you would rather do anything else right now.
You do not have to feel like doing the thing in order to do the thing.*
It will still count.
It will still add up.
No matter how you feel about the task, if you do it, you will still reach the same point.
Now, I am not pretending that it is easy to do something you don’t feel like doing. It’s always tricky to get ourselves to switch tasks, especially when the new task feels kind of meh for us. We may need other techniques – rewards, company, a celebration of some kind, to coax ourselves into doing things when the enthusiasm isn’t there.
BUT
I find it kind of liberating to know that I don’t have to wait to want to do something.
I kind of like the fact that I can do something just to get it out of the way and I don’t have to be excited about it.
There’s a freedom in knowing that I will get similar results whether I smile through my workout or curse the whole time.
So, Team, on those days when you just can’t stir any enthusiasm for the task ahead, remember that you don’t have to feel like doing it in order to get it done.
And here’s your gold star for your efforts today whether you were forging ahead, ambling on, or dragging yourself through the process.
Wishing you ease, as always.
PS – There is a big difference between ‘not feeling like it’ and ‘I just can’t do the thing today.’ Please be kind to yourself while you figure out the difference – you may not be dealing with a ‘meh’ feeling, you may actually need to rest!
*This post is about the days when you feel kind of bleh about your habit-building tasks. For most people, that happens every now and then, maybe for a few days in a row and then the bleh feeling passes and then they feel neutral or positive about their workouts. If you NEVER feel like doing your habit-building task, check in with yourself about whether this habit is something you really want or if the method you have chosen is a useful way for you to proceed. You *can* keep up with a habit-building task that you never want to do but you might find it easier on your brain to see if you can make some changes.
