…but don’t let them boss you around.
Every time I coach a new client and they are explaining their challenges around a given topic, they always start with either ‘I know I shouldn’t let that bother me…’ or ‘I know I should just…’ and I always feel so sad for them in that moment.
Not only are they dealing with an obstacle but that damn *should* (blech!) word is in there making things even more difficult.
We all deserve better than that.
When you are expanding areas of your life, adding new things, making changes, you are going to encounter obstacles of all kinds.
And those obstacles ARE in your way, even if they feel like you *should* (blech!) be able to ignore them.
So, instead of trying to ignore the things in your way, I’d like you to consider respecting them.
That doesn’t mean you give in to your obstacles all the time.*
We’re not going to just let them boss us around.
Instead, we are going to respect the fact that this thing- big or small – is in our way and we need to find a way around, over, or under it.
We don’t need to judge ourselves about the obstacle itself. We don’t need to get into mental gymnastics about whether this *should* (blech!) bother us.
What we need to do is accept the fact that it IS bothering us and that we need to find a solution.
After all, we can either pour energy into telling ourselves that this is not actually a problem OR we can pour energy into solving it.
Personally, I’d rather take the second option.
So, if you want to exercise early in the morning but the fact that you will be chilly for a few minutes at first prevents you from starting, consider how you can bundle up at the beginning.
If you want to meditate right after work but your family clamours for your attention then, can you meditate before you leave work or stop somewhere and meditate in the car?
If you want to do strength training but all the workouts you’ve found include a hated exercise (e.g. lunges – I can’t stand ’em), can you find another exercise that works the same muscles or can you just leave that exercise out of your workout?
Whether your obstacle is big or small, it’s still an obstacle.
By respecting that obstacle, you can help yourself find a way around, over, or under it and you’ll be able to move forward with your plan.
If you can’t think of a way to overcome it on your own, ask some kind friends for ideas or post a comment here and I’ll brainstorm for you.
*There are some times when we will have to give into an obstacle and recognize that this may not be the right time or place for us to do the thing we had planned. It’s ok to decide that you are going to put your energy into something else at the moment. Taking some time to reflect on your obstacles can help you discern whether this is a ‘let’s find a workaround’ or a ‘let’s put this aside for now’ type of situation.
