My husband met me when I was in my athletic prime. In response to a heartbreak, I turned to exercise as an escape. When my blood was pumping, the tears weren’t falling. I would run up and down the stairs at my university, do push-ups and sit-ups in my dorm, and spend my thin university budget on a gym membership. I was riding the adrenaline.
Naturally, when my husband saw me at our university’s Winter Retreat skating laps around the lake, smashing points in water polo, and sinking half-court shots in the gym at three in the morning, he thought he had found the athletic partner jackpot.
A skate ring I made one winter.
Pictured is of the lower half of a person wearing ice skates, posing beside a carved spiral in the ice.
Unfortunately, that was, and may forever be, the best shape I was ever in. Was my husband surprised when he started dating me and discovered I had very little athletic drive? Perhaps, but thankfully, I have many more endearing qualities.
Now, 13 years later, both of us have a drive to use exercise to promote our health, and we desire relational connection. We’ve asked each other, “Well, how about we try working out together?” Seems like a cute idea, does it not?
However, my husband’s athleticism and my lack thereof make this idea of working out together a difficult one to put into practice. My husband is an avid hiker and soccer player who walks to work and bikes to soccer games. He feeds off of intensity. I am a typist who swims casually. I feed off of gentle steadiness. Our differences have me questioning, what if my husband gets frustrated at my slower pace? What if I get flustered over his intensity? Is it even possible to work out peacefully with each other? Voicing these questions aloud to my husband has produced a similar uncertainty in him.
My husband and I engaging in each other’s hobbies during our engagement photoshoot.
Pictured are two adults standing, looking teasingly at each other. A woman is resting her foot on a soccer ball, while a man is playing a guitar.
But, being a proud extrovert, I have refused to abandon the cause. In looking for ways for my husband and I to engage in fitness together, I have chosen to look to the past to find the successes in our 13 years together. Inspired by my husband and the date ideas he has suggested for us in the past, I have compiled a short list.
Here are 3 ways that a less athletic partner can comfortably exercise with their athletic partner:
- Go on a bike ride.
It was on a bike ride 13 years ago that my husband and I discovered that our different fitness modes can make doing physically demanding activities together a frustrating and isolating experience.
When my husband suggested that the two of us should go for a bike ride together, I had my reservations. I wanted to ensure that the “together” part of his suggestion would be followed. My husband assured me that it would be, and he followed through. Our biking destination was a beautiful pier overlooking a lake. My husband led the way. He set the pace but kept me close in his rearview.
By the time we got to the pier, I was exhausted. Naturally, my husband was unphased. We enjoyed the view and some water for a short moment, and then it was time to head back. My husband suggested that I lead the way back so that I could set the pace.
This leader-switch plan worked out splendidly. I had the stamina and energy to keep up with my husband at the beginning of the ride, and we could still ride together on the way back. I am certain I would have fallen far behind if he had led.
So that’s the date suggestion: have the more athletic partner lead for the first half and then have the less athletic partner lead on the way back. This way, it becomes a partnered adventure. Find a neat place to be your halfway point to add some extra romanticism to the date.
2. Go bowling.
It is incredible how sore you can be after bowling. The lunging, the twisting, the slight ode to shotput in throwing the bowling ball—bowling has the potential to be a significant workout. We have taken advantage of bowling because it is one of the more affordable options for date ideas and because it’s a fun idea for double dates. In fact, if you invite others to join your bowling game, there is more time to visit with each other between turns.
Bowling can be as tame or as intense as the bowler prefers. You can challenge yourself or each other to unique bowls, such as lunging to the lane, walking on your toes for the duration of your bowl, or even doing stretch exercises while waiting for your next turn. Use this exercise date idea to bring fun and amusement into your relational fitness journey.
3. Go for a long walk and talk.
This is one for the memories. When my husband and I first met, we used to walk for hours around the industrial park near our university. It was not a glamorous scene, but the silence and barrenness of the area gave us ample freedom to speak openly and widely. Even if you don’t find the quietest place to walk, challenge yourself and your partner to go for a long walk and talk. Try it out in your neighbourhood or an area of your municipality you haven’t explored before.
If you run out of topics, look around. There may be a particular house, tree, person, or sound that can ignite an intricate conversation. The best thing about this activity is that it helps you connect with your partner on an intimate level, and talking together will allow you both to hold pace with one another. It’s a win-win!
Working out together may seem daunting, but there are ways that you can engage in a fitness journey with your partner, even if you are unequally yoked in the athletic department. I look forward to saying “Yes” to more of my husband’s exercise date invitations and to finding some date ideas for myself too. Happy dating!
Would these ideas work for you and your partner? Do you have other ideas on how couples can exercise together? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.
Stephanie Morris is a transcriptionist and writer based in Alberta, Canada. She is a wife, a mom of two, and a newcomer to the career-writing world. As a fancier of history and literature, she aspires to blend the two in fiction and nonfiction pieces. To follow Stephanie’s writing adventures, find her at @words.and.smores on Instagram.
