October is Pregnancy Loss Awareness month and I want to share the post below, of my own pregnancy loss. I originally wrote the post for my Facebook account. I am a musician and I have a pretty wide engagement with my community there. For that reason, when I wanted to let my broader community known about my experience, I chose to post my thoughts there. Samantha is my “friend” and my friend in real life too; she read my post, recognized that it touches on fitness, gender and reflection, and so encouraged me to share it here.
I am so glad I did. Talking about loss is scary and painful, but it can help to let the pain dissipate; writing the post below certainly did help me. I also found out just how many women in my life had experienced pregnancy loss. One of the saddest parts of my miscarriage for me was realizing how common it is, and how little I realized about that.
I am still sorry about that miscarriage, but my deep sense of loss has transformed into something much less painful and more… balanced? Somehow my loss feels like it fits into the hills and valleys of my life and I’m actually ok with it. I know when women have pregnancy loss at later stages that is far less possible… I am very grateful that I can experience it that way.