So it’s been exactly one week since knee replacement surgery and things are going well on most fronts. Except for sleep. Which is miserable. And I feel sorry for everyone I know with sleeping difficulties. (Hey Jeff.)
Sleeping cat Photo by Akshay Bhosle on Scopio
Normally I’m an obnoxiously healthy sleeper. Certainly I usually get enough sleep and I feel good about it. I go to bed early. I get up early. It’s all pretty textbook, as recommended, stuff. If I struggle at all it’s with consistency and the hours I sleep. But I’ve even been making progress on that front.
Until knee surgery.
Argh.
I’ve been in too much pain to sleep through the night. It’s hard to even get to sleep. I have to sleep on my back right now. And the prescription narcotic drug that works best for pain (I’m only taking it at night) has as a side effect, sleeplessness. Great.
I can only sleep once I’m absolutely exhausted and then I end up sleeping during the day which only makes for more sleepless nights.
I’ve been watching The Expanse in the middle of the night. I’ve never made it all the way through before. This time, I’ll try.
Last knee replacement it was at week two that I started googling and buying special pillows to help with sleep and recovery. This time around it’s at week one. But I already own all the fancy pillows.
I’m hoping this stage of recovery doesn’t last. I remember last time it got better once I could sleep on my side again. Wish me luck and all the zzzz’s.
(This is a little stream-of-consciousness because I’m not really finished thinking this through. Please bear with me.)
So, I’ve been carrying around some ambient stress again.
I’m not feeling stressed about anything in particular. There’s no overwhelmingly stressful thing going on.
In fact, my *brain* doesn’t feel stressed at all.
My body, however, is telling me otherwise.
My first response to recognizing that stressed out feeling was ‘I need to meditate.’
And meditation does help me release that feeling in the moment, which is great, but reactive meditation is not nearly as helpful as regular (preventative) meditation would be.
See, I know that when I meditate regularly, I get a little more space in my brain.
And that space helps me make better choices about how to spend my time and my energy.
Last fall, I had a month or so when I meditated daily and I really found it beneficial. But then something came up, I couldn’t meditate at my regular time and I got off track. I’ve had a few short streaks of practice since then but it hasn’t really stuck.
However, once again, I am determined to find my way back to that daily practice.
On Monday, I was trying to figure out a good time for my practice when I (once again?) made the connection that meditation is similar in one way to my ADHD medication – it gives me a little space between my thought and my action so I can choose to be more effective, to be kinder to myself.
So then I thought ‘What if I put meditation in the same category as my meds?’ – that is, something that needs to happen daily, at the same time, in order to have the best effect.
And then I considered whether I could meditate right after I medicate.
I went back and forth on that for a few minutes because mornings can be a tricky time to find quiet minutes to myself but maybe I can take my meditation and my medications at the same time and it will work out just fine.
I’m going to give it a week and see how it goes.
I’ll report back next Tuesday with the results of this utterly unscientific experiment.
I’ll even take notes.
What does this have to do with meditation? Absolutely nothing. But it does make me feel calm so that’s kind of tangentially connected, right? image description: Khalee, my light-haired dog, is curled up in a red leather armchair next to a white pillow with gold stars on it. In the background, there is a patch of sunlight on the wall, a tower fan, and the rear wheel of a bicycle.
I’ve been home from the hospital for a few days now. Surgery was last Tuesday and I came home Thursday. That’s not exactly as planned. See here for details. But I’m very happy to be home.
How’s it going? How does this round of recovery compare to the last?
In some ways it’s easier. I’ve got one good knee now, more upper body strength, more core strength, and I feel pretty confident moving my recovering body around. Thanks Meg (personal trainer) and Estee (physiotherapist) for all of your help and recommendations. I ditched the walker for crutches after just a couple of days.
I’m doing lots of at home physio. This is the drill three times a day. It’s quad sets, heel slides, short arc leg extension (with rolled towel), calf stretches.
At home exercises after knee replacement
I’m also taking breaks to walk around the house. The helpful guide to recovery from knee replacement says that walking to the kitchen and the bathroom isn’t enough, but also that it’s easy to overdo yourself. I’m doing little laps of the house and the backyard.
Here’s a good description of the kinds of exercises one does when recovering from knee replacement surgery.
Later I’ll work my way up to fancier in bed knee exercises to start the day.
True confession: I fell off the no shopping wagon. There’s not a lot I can do right now–even reading is tricky– and I enjoy shopping. So I’ve ordered some new clothes and shoes and I’m trying not to judge myself too harshly for it. But I stuck to things I needed and I didn’t go overboard.
Here’s what I’m not buying this week.
Things Sam didn’t buy this week
The real challenge is sleep. OMG it’s tough. I can sleep a few hours at a time and then the pain wakes me up. I go through a little routine of taking more pain meds and getting fresh ice but there’s no guarantee it works. Then I’m sleepy during the day and nap and that makes it worse again at night. Middle of the night binge TV watching becomes part of the routine pretty quickly.
Hi folks– for those who celebrate, either last Sunday or this Sunday marks Easter, a big holiday in the Christian calendar, and also a time of renewal and rebirth (plus those brightly-colored marshmallow peeps!). I love both the religious and secular aspects of Easter, as they’re about celebration and appreciation of newness in all its vulnerability. I mean, what’s more sweet and fragile than a fluffy baby chick?
these are the real deal– fuzzy, yellow, safely located on wood chips and not someone’s carpet.Who knew there was an active market in fake baby chicks? These are strictly for decor.
In that post I featured lots of photos of people and animals in bunny ears (always appropriate), but also listed some changes and renewals of activities I wanted for myself.
Last year, in 2022– seven years later, I revisited the renewal theme, this time with a different set of goals. You can see them here: On Easter and Renewal
I’m gratified (and not a little surprised) to see that my 2022 list– which includes e-bike and kayak shopping as well as writing, stretching and yoga, and meditation– is still working this year in 2023! I’ve let go of some goals, as they were always only vaguely aspirational (I’m talking about you, hiking!) This leaves room for the activities and habits I most care about. And they take time and effort.
Speaking of which, on Easter in 2016 I wrote about moving religiously: On Ritual, or Moving Religiously. I didn’t write this then, but I can tell you from experience that Easter is to churches as January is to gyms: they are packed with people who will not be there again until the next cycle. Which is totally fine. We all can get swept up in popular seasonal rituals; riding those waves can be fun, even if they are short in duration. Dabbling in an activity, being a visitor rather than a regular– these are choices we make and circumstances we find ourselves in because of busy lives with lots of immoveable commitments.
Last year I bought a kayak. And it’s a beauty– you can see my post here: Catherine buys a kayak! I’ve definitely used it, but not every week or even every month (of the year). I’m glad I have it, as it’s opened up lots of places to put it and paddle happily. But I’m not using it incredibly often. We’ll see how this summer goes– I want to explore more north-of-Boston ocean bay locales with friends. I’m more of a dabbler in kayaking than a regular. But I still like riding the waves (if they’re not too big…)
These waves are definitely too big for me, but not for my friend Janet (pictured here).
I wish you all smooth surfing of whatever waves you decide to catch this spring and summer. And Happy Easter!
The blog is going to explore what I call “imperfect veganism” from a philosophical, ethical, strategic, and practical perspective. I have been vegan for ethical reasons since 2011, vegetarian for quite some time prior to that. But, as I explain in “Welcome to ‘Vegan. Practically.” I am not 100% perfect at it. Many people both inside and outside the vegan community think of it as an all-or-nothing undertaking, that you can not be “properly vegan” if you ever falter. That has never seemed right to me, and as a philosopher I have been mulling it over for a long time.
The book-in-progress, and its new blog companion “Vegan. Practically.” will carve out a space for a principled approach to veganism as an ethical practice. I emphasize the idea of practice because I think that is a great way of understanding the ongoing, but sometimes flawed, effort, much as we do in other practices, such as yoga, meditation, religion, even physical training in athletics from hockey to running.
I started the new blog because as I’ve been writing the book over these past few months, I’ve had some challenges hitting the right note in terms of tone. I want to be inviting, offering these reflections not just to vegans, but also to anyone who might be curious, or anyone who might be more than curious but feels convinced veganism is “too hard.” I don’t want to be scary, combative, strident, or (overly) self-righteous (tough to navigate when you’re taking an ethical stance on something, but I don’t see that as a productive way for me to be). I also don’t want to evangelize or preach. I’m a philosopher, so argument, commentary, and analysis are my go-tos, with some personal narrative thrown into the mix. Hopefully it’ll be inherently interesting subject matter presented in an approachable and engaging way (a women can dream!).
As a writer I can sometimes overthink things like tone, but I know that I when I blog I feel as if my authentic voice comes through. I tried to approach some parts of the book “acting as if,” that is, pretending I was blogging. But I guess I’m not such a great pretender. Why not just do it for real?
As I was grappling with this question of tone and the possibility of blogging for real, I felt a bit of resistance because a blog is a commitment not to be undertaken lightly. Then my writing coach (Daphne Gray-Grant, The Publication Coach), whom I’ve been working with for a few months, said that a blog is an excellent platform for making a success of the book. I know from my experience with Fit Is a Feminist Issue and the book, Fit at Mid-Life: A Feminist Fitness Journey, that I co-authored with Sam, that this holds true. We did much better with the book because of the blog — indeed without the blog there would have been no book.
I plan to start modestly, with one to two posts a week on a range of topics from the various reasons in support of veganism to Veganuary pros and cons to cell-based meat to my favourite vegan recipe sites (I won’t be offering much if anything in the way of recipes). The photography will be my own (I’m intensely into photography so this is a way of showcasing some of my work).
Unlike this blog, I have no plans to expand the author-group, at least not for starters. I would love to find readers who are interested and curious. No need for readers to be vegans or ethically-guided eaters of whatever kind. I’m not focusing on health, though there are actually some compelling health reasons for following a plant-based diet and I might sometimes mention it.
Please check it out and ask your friends to do the same.
Spring has sprung in New England! Or at least some version of spring where we start to see flower buds and sunshine at regular intervals. Here in my little corner (near Boston, MA) we did not see much snow this winter. That is not true for all of my neighbors, but my coastal city doesn’t follow any weather rules, thanks to the ocean just doing what it wants.
Last weekend my partner and I went to Stowe, VT for a few days. Our first night there it snowed and we were awed by the delights of seeing snow fall in/on the mountains. The following morning our walk to breakfast was cold and windy, but by midday it was 60 degrees (15.5 celsius) and sunny. We did a fair bit of wandering around in the sunshine, capped off with our first outdoor brewery visit of the season. We remained awed by the snow on the ground in the warm sunshine (we may be easily entertained.)
This brief exposure to warmth left me excited for upcoming days on our new back deck. I wasn’t the only one, because we weren’t home more than an hour from our weekend trip and my partner was taking the tarps off our deck furniture. Seems we both have the bug. With the furniture uncovered we’ve both been able to take some of our virtual meetings out there, and our dogs are getting acclimated to lounging on the deck (versus the many other places they lounge.)
King’s Beach facing Red Rock Park Lynn, MA
All of this has me thinking about what types of movement activities I can take out on the deck this season. The desire to be outside is a relatively new one for me, so while so many other FIFI contributors have written about their outdoor adventures I have never really enjoyed those types of activities. I was a bookworm kid who hated the feel of grass of my bare feet (still do,) one who sunburned easily (still do,) and one who craved alone time in a cool, dark room (still do.) But now I also have this craving for sunshine, to feel the warmth on my back while enjoying the views and the nature going on around me. I notice which of the plants, flowers, and shrubs have buds, and I am excited for their blooms. And I think about what, besides reading and zoom meetings, I can enjoy on the deck. Here’s my list of things to try this spring:
– yoga
– stretching
– barre classes
– resistance band strength training
– meditation
None of these will surpass my one true outdoor summer activity, open water swimming, but they will be great pre- and post-swimming activities, or just good on their own.
What outdoor activities are you excited to try or get back to this season?
Amy Smith is a professor of Media & Communication and a communication consultant who lives north of Boston. Her research interests include gender communication and community building. Amy spends her movement time riding the basement bicycle to nowhere, walking her two dogs, and waiting for it to get warm enough for outdoor swimming in New England.
My second knee replacement surgery was scheduled for day surgery on Tuesday April 11th and we’re home now the afternoon of Thursday April 13th.
So it wasn’t exactly day surgery. What happened?
The same thing as last time. The knee replacement surgery went well but everytime I tried to stand up, my blood pressure went way down and I got all woozy and faint. They don’t want people with newly replaced knees falling so I stuck around in the hospital for a few more days. Here’s a photo of my special bracelet, “Call, don’t fall” reminding me to call a nurse for assistance getting out of bed rather than attempting it solo.
I’m excited about the weather I’m coming home to though. It’s true there’ll be no biking or dog walking but I’m looking forward to sitting out on the back deck with my new bird feeder.
Weather
And I’ll have company in the back yard too. Thanks for the photos Mallory.
Dogs!
In person, at the clinic, physio starts next Tuesday. Staples out in two weeks. Aquafit starts in four weeks, approximately. Check up with the surgeon in six weeks. And then, I hope, back to work.
I know I had said no more posts about the new women’s chill soccer league I’ve been following this year. But recently in our playoffs I was a part of some not-winning fun that I want to tell you about it.
What happened
It was nearly time for my team’s final game of the season, and we were waiting to play while the top two teams finished a shootout after their tie game. Many people looked on as players from each team alternately kicked the ball at the goal while the opposing team’s goalkeeper defended. Watching players remarked around me that shootouts are exciting but stressful. I agreed!
Both teams did a great job, and after the shootout the winning team stayed out in the field to take pictures with a trophy while the other team did not.
Then it was our turn to play. One of our teammates joined our opposition because they were short extra players, so both teams had two substitutions. At the end of our evenly matched game we were tied, just like the game before us.
Players from both teams were out on the pitch after the buzzer went, when someone asked, “Can we just end in a tie and not do the shootout?”
Did we have to go through the stress of a shootout to determine a winner and a loser? What did the team captains have to say? Both captains were okay with it, so then when we asked the ref he said needed to check first. As he trotted over to the other field to consult with the head ref, someone from our team said, “If we just all left the field now, what could they do?”
But we did wait, and it was fine. We two teams left the field at the same time, without a final game shootout, to get our drinks and celebrate a great season together.
What it meant to me
In considering what makes a non-aggressive rec women’s soccer league this past season, I also observed players trying to have more say in the type of game they wanted to play. Change was sometimes hard to make because of established regulations, different expectations, and traditions of past seasons.
I developed much admiration for the league organizer (Cindy) who involved players in some key decisions, the team captains who discussed issues that sometime arose during the season, and the officiants who adjusted their calls for our level of play, even when there were differing views about what aggressive play looked like.
In the end, our teams’ choice not to compete in a shootout embodied what I think this league was meant to be about. It’s will sound corny, but I think it’s still true: when we players decided to leave our final game as a tie, we all ended up winning.
See how the league developed in my post series:
Part 1: A new “chill” women’s rec soccer league league?
I don’t think of myself as a particularly introspective person, so I am a little surprised to discover that my preferred reading lately is mostly in support of my thinking for this blog.
On the go, I have:
Feminist City: A Field Guide, by Leslie Kern
“You Just Need To Lose Weight” And 19 Other Myths About Fat People, by Aubrey Gordon
The Book of The City of Ladies, by Christine de Pizan
I Just finished The Once and Future Sex , by Eleanor Janega.
I also participated in a Zoom panel on Finding Equity in The Low Car City, with Chris Bruntlett and Melissa Bruntlett. My next two acquisitions will be their books Curbing Traffic and Building The Cycling City.
And because all posts need a picture, here is my new bike, acquired this weekend. It has enough cargo bike features to make it really useful for running errands, and it has a step-through frame and a skirt guard on the chain so I can more easily cycle in a dress.
Black bicycle with a wooden box on the front, and a basket and panniers on the back.
I have been feeling a little frustrated with my six week fitness plan.
The first two weeks of 10 minutes a day was great and I was enjoying the second two weeks even though it was harder to fit in 20 minutes per day.
And then the side of my knee started hurting.
And then I got a cold.
And then I had a migraine.
And then my back got cranky with me.
Basically, things went awry as things tend to do.
And my two weeks of 20 minutes is going to be three or three and a half weeks of 20 minutes with some days off here and there.
It was annoying.
I wasn’t being hard on myself. I knew taking the days off was the right thing to do and I didn’t think poorly of myself because of it.
But I was ANNOYED.
And FRUSTRATED.
I wanted to stick with my plan. I wanted to be able to keep going. I wanted to stay on schedule.
I wanted it to be straightforward.
I had been doing so well adapting the exercises and being kind to myself and working really hard during each session.
And I was afraid I was going to get frustrated enough to lose momentum.
Then, this past weekend, Facebook offered up some advice from my 2016 self that helped me shake off both the annoyance and the frustration and tell myself a better story.
Here’s what past me wrote in a type of post I used to do before my Hey Team! advice:
Your challenge today is to take the easy way.
That sounds like bad advice, I know, but I find that I often take the hard way without thinking about it and I end up working way harder than I need to in order to reach the same place.
See the pics below? That’s the hill behind my kid’s school. I was all set to walk up that steeper, slippery slope when I realized that…
Image description: a photo of a steep snow/ice covered hill with a few muddy/grassy patches. There are bare trees at the top and a building can be seen in the distance. It’s a sunny day with a cloudy blue sky.
ten feet to my left there was a much more gradual slope that would be much easier to walk up.
Image description: a photo of a gradually sloping snow/ice covered hill one route is much steeper than the other. There are evergreen trees and a cloudy blue sky at the top. Some red and blue poles from playground equipment are at the top left.
I still got where I was going, but the trip was much more pleasant.
Sure, taking a challenging route is good sometimes, if the challenge is the point but sometimes, you just need to be at the top of the hill.
So, take a look at the point of what you are doing today. Are you looking for a challenge, looking to test yourself, or is the point to get to the top of the hill so you can move on?
If you just need to get up there, then you have my official permission as a life coach, as someone’s Mom and as a kindness ambassador to just stroll up the easy way.
Or, to put it in storytelling terms, is this the story of how you climbed a hill and persevered or is the story about what came next? Choose your path accordingly.
May your easy path be clear today. 💚
And then that’s when I realized that this is NOT the story of how I did these specific workouts in this specific time frame.
This is the story of how I can feel better and be more focused by getting more exercise.
It’s the story of how I can be stronger.
It’s the story of how I can build and maintain sustainable fitness habits.
