SPOILER: the answer is, “nothing much”. If you have more time to read, check out the details below.
I’ve been using the Ten Percent Happier app and loving it. I’ve also gotten hooked on the milestones feature.
I went to Cape Elizabeth Maine for the weekend with friends to celebrate the one-year anniversary of a friend’s 50th birthday (for which we had planned a trip in 2020 which– obvs– didn’t happen). I used the app each morning for wake-up mediation.
When I went home, the next morning I slept late, and didn’t do the wake-up app. I lazed around, watching tv and playing on my computer. Didn’t get around to proper sitting meditation. By the time I was thinking of turning in (and picking a sleep-easier meditation), it was past midnight.
OH NO!
I had just reached the 60-day milestone, too, and was looking forward to chugging along to 70. Now I had to start all over again. Grrr. Argh.
It felt…. uh, how did it feel?
After the fussing and fretting passed, it didn’t feel like much of anything. I wasn’t numb or paralyzed, or deflated, just… there.
Wow.
Today, I woke up and decided to do a sitting meditation. It would’ve been day 62 in a row, but instead was day 1 in a row. How did it feel to start over? Honestly, it didn’t feel any different– just like, well, meditation.
Wow again.
Why wow? Because unlike most things I do, where I don’t like tracking numbers (we wrote about fitness tracking recently here), I really got into tracking my meditation practice. Why? Because developing a practice means doing something habitually– often, regularly, consistently. Consistency is not my strong suit, but I’m drawn to the idea of creating the conditions for stillness and quiet in my body and mind each day. So I’ve been meditating regularly, several days a week, for the past year, using my mediation app to keep track.
The thing is, once I noticed I was racking up the weeks and days in a row, I started getting attached to those numbers. Each day or so I’d check my milestones menu, looking ahead to the next goal. Is this a bad thing? No. But attachment comes with disappointment when goals aren’t met. And I didn’t meet a goal.
But the funny thing is– my body and mind were like, oh yeah, I guess we forgot that one. Hmmm, do we want a banana? And then the next day, I just sat down and meditated. Again. As one does when one is developing a meditation practice.
There’s a huuuuge literature on mediation and attachment, about which I know very little. But a quick takeway is that when we get attached to things or people or outcomes, we can become less happy, more anxious, and (importantly) lose the connection to ourselves in this moment.
Whether it’s meditation, cycling, yoga, swimming, writing, or whatever activity you want to make a regular and solid part of your life, having goals and plans and schedules are important. So is realizing that goals aren’t always met, plans sometimes go awry (love that word!), and schedules occasionally get broken. Whatcha gonna do then?
Get up the next day, get back to the practice, and do the thing.
Although I’m still a little bummed about not being on a 62-day streak, today is really about my one-day streak. As it is every day.
Hey readers– how do you deal with interrupted streaks of whatever? Does it throw you off your game? Do you just keep on truckin’? I’d really like to hear what your experience is here. If you’d like to share…
I was trying to remember who recommended the Ten Percent app! Thank you!!! It was SO helpful to me this Spring. I even paid up once the academic trial was over.
I love the word awry, too! I’m on a long meditation streak and I’m starting to think that when I hit my next significant “milestone” that I ought to take a day off, just to un-attach to the streak. This post really clarified that thinking.
Mina, I was thinking of you when I wrote this, as I know you’ve had long stints of meditation days. Seeing the possibility of detaching from the streak itself or the silly app icons for the streak was a gift. Maybe that’s enough– just to see it. Let me know how things go.
I will keep you posted. I’m thinking of hitting that “big” milestone and then taking an intentional day off as a reset. But who knows … the day has yet to arrive. And, I need to “make it” there first.