I hope everyone had a nice Christmas. Whatever that means for you. Hopefully there is delicious food in your belly, a warm place to snuggle another human or loved pet. As we near the end of 2019, and we are about to start 2020, the barrage of resolution inspiration is tangible. I’m sure I am not alone in thinking about what resolutions mean to me.
When I was a guest poster on Fit is a Feminist Issue, I wrote this Sweet Things post, where I talk about there being something enticing about marking the beginning of something. I talk about the sweet things I wish for myself in the coming year (on the Jewish Calendar), including: patience, “Don’t mess with me vibe”, Focus, Contentment, Indifference, Less Fear, and Gratitude. These are the kinds of things I like to think about as a new beginning is marked on a calendar.
I am not one to make a list of resolutions I’d like to keep for the year ahead. Mostly because I like to think of goals I have for myself on a regular basis, not only at one time of year. I’m not a fan of the idea that if you don’t resolve to make changes in a specific period of time, you will lose your window of opportunity to do so.
Also, rigid rules and lists don’t work for me. The same way rigid calorie counting, weighing myself regularly, detoxes, and the like, do not work for me. I am more inclined to make small changes in areas that are important to me, until they stick and become regular habits. Also, to me, wellness and health are more about mental health, physical strength and healthy mobility, than what size I am at any given time.
In my late 40s, I want to focus on what I want to accomplish in this life, whether in my career, or in relation to what type of wife, daughter, cousin, friend, co-worker, I want to be.
Currently, a few things I would like to focus on in 2020 are:
Feeling more Confident: a colleague gave me a mug for a festive mug exchange at work that says “Boss Lady”. She said she gave it to me because I exude calm, cool, boss lady vibes. I do not feel like this most of the time, particularly in a 6 month old job, where I am not a “subject matter expert” in the way I was in my previous jobs (for the past 20 years). Nor do I feel I have a lot of opportunity to be in a “Boss Lady” type of position at this stage of my career. Although, I think It’s more about a vibe in all one does, than about a particular position, and the compliment (and mug) gave me confidence to See it. Hear it. Be it. Particularly because the woman who gave it to me does actually seem like a Boss Lady to me. So, it’s an inspirational gift. I would like to feel that I exude the confidence that others apparently see in me on occasion. This sense of confidence can extend to my workouts.
Better Emotional Intelligence: In this I mean I would like to have the ability to be assertive without being emotional or worried about how my assertion will be received. If anyone has any tips, I would love to receive them. I admire this quality in others, but do not feel I achieve this when I am feeling most vulnerable.
More Energy: I often feel I am inexplicably tired late in the day. I regularly get 7 hours of good sleep. I exercise, take my vitamins, etc. But I would love to figure out how to have more energy (without too much coffee) in everyday life.
A Miracle: I would really welcome a positive turn of events with a family member. There are some events in life where we find we have less control than we would like, to shape how things are unfolding. In these situations all we can do is hope there are other forces that can help turn things around. I hope for such a turn around in the coming year. I know I am being vague, but this is just something I would like to put out in the world, without providing too much detail.
I would also like to take stock at the end of the year about the areas in my life where I feel gratitude. A year’s worth of energetic workouts at a gym I love (hey Move!), a completed half marathon, many great, meditative solo jogs, and great training runs with my friend/neighbor Mark, and his dog Tango (Tango can be a good pace setter at times). The privilege of another year around the sun. I got married! I have the most supportive, loving, husband, who is also my best friend. There was a time in my life where this event seemed completely unlikely. I am grateful for my daily snuggles with my two dogs, bad breath and all (I am a terrible doggie Mom, when it comes to dog dental hygiene). I am grateful for my supportive and loving family and my close and wonderful friends. I hope everyone finds what they are looking for in 2020. Do you have things you wish for that you would like to say out loud and share?