Sam rejects your ‘amazing arm shapers!’

Things in my newsfeed that I definitely won’t be ordering…how about “arm shapers.” The ad says, “GET SLIM ARMS IN SECONDS.” First thought: Hey, I worked for these muscles. But then, oh, right, I remember. There’s all that angst about having arms in good enough shape to wear sleeveless dresses. That’s what this is about.

Facebook algorithms, do you even know me? I am the author of Bingo wings and dinner plate arms: Let’s put our wit to work elsewhere. 

I am a fan of learning to love our bodies as they are. I am not a fan of the continual search for women’s body parts that must be improved. I won’t recite the list of unruly body bits. Reader, I’m sure by now you know it as well as I do. 

There’s a review of them by someone who more practical, and less philosophical, objections to the very idea of arm shapers. She asks Would you wear arm tights?

” I, and everyone I know who has ever declared their bingo wings to be a ‘body hangup’, all have one thing in common. We only dislike our upper arms when they’re out. A sleeveless dress at a wedding, a spaghetti strap top on holiday – these are the times that you might want a miracle sartorial solution to swoop in and hold up any surplus arm jiggle. On a day that I didn’t want to show my wings, I would simply choose a dress or top in my wardrobe with sleeves to cover them. There would be no point in having a sucky-in, long-sleeved layer underneath that, unless the outer top’s silhouette was also skin tight. Any other shape would ruin the streamline illusion. “

Her answer is no. Mine too, even though I didn’t get to the practical considerations she sensibly raises.

More images of arm shapers modeled by people who clearly don’t need arm shapers. Never mind, no one needs arm shapers. So they might as well be modeled by thin women.